Am I being ungrateful?

I think for your first child a pram should be chosen by you.. it is a big thing (in my eyes anyway) my mother in law got upset as I went and bought our first pram and she wanted to buy it, but I compromised and let her buy the stroller for when he was older

Why did she buy the pram without asking first...the pram is a massive thing for a new mumma to choose. If she wanted to buy it then she shouldve just given you the money for one you chose or taken you shopping for one. I'd be really angry if someone did that to me. It's not about being grateful or ungrateful...it's the fact you've had no choice at all. Pram shopping is really important...test driving them etc. Why did she buy one?!

My mother and father in law bought our first pram and travel system...but we chose it and they transferred the money.

No, this is such an odd thing to do without speaking to you. Getting your baby’s pram is so exciting and special. It’s nice that she wants to help but this is overstepping. I’d thank her and say you appreciate the gesture but have been so excited to go pram shopping as a couple and have an eye on a couple you’d like to try.

Don’t think your being ungrateful as my sister in law bought one for me and I didn’t mind it and was thankful not to have the expense but it broke :( I then got the one my mum bought for herself and I like it but if I had an endless bank account I wouldn’t have bought it if that makes sense. Xx

No the pram is a big decision! If its really not suitable just ask for the gift receipt or if they can exchange it. You have to advocate for your babies needs and comfort if no one else will! Curious to know which one they got you 🤔

You should absolutely get a say! Your partner probably just doesn’t want to cause a fuss so he isn’t in the middle of it. If the pram she bought is suitable for a toddler just keep it for then & buy a new one for now xx

Wow this is so odd. I would absolutely not feel bad about expressing how it made me feel that she didn’t even ask what pram you needed and wanted. Completely bizarre situation. My in-laws bought our pram for our baby, exactly the one we chose, and everything else for that matter they always ask beforehand to make sure it is something needed and useful and quality.

Also as a side note - my mum bought our sons first pram and it wasn’t suitable at all so I was just honest about it and I bought a new one that I tested in the shops xx

So weird she didn't even ask first! My mil wanted to buy ALL the big stuff for our baby when I was pregnant plus wanted to choose and buy stuff for our new home like even some appliances and was choosing before even asking me. I put my foot down in the end and said I wasn't comfortable with any of that and I wanted to choose and buy the stuff for our baby and home. She ended up getting the cot in the end but we chose it however she still buys random bits without asking....First walker and proper pair of shoes even though he can't even walk yet 🙄 I wouldnt be happy if I were you! If exchanging it isn't an option I'm wondering if you can strip it completely and buy new stuff for it and make it yours? You can buy new hood, handlebar covers, inserts, cosy toes and a cute changing bag and make it feel more like yours and tbh id probably do that without saying anything and just take control of what you want for your baby especially as its your first and its a big deal!

It’s really odd thing to do and honestly I’m not sure why your partner is getting defensive about your opinion? I think you need to show him these comments and tell him things like a pram should absolutely be your decision if you’re not happy. My sister gave me her pram and I’ve been lucky enough to really like it but if I’d have not then I’d have totally understood where you came from

It's definitely odd that his sister bought your pram WITHOUT asking you first, that's not cool. Is his sister the sort of person where you could approach her directly about it and she would understand?

Who goes out and buys a pram for someone without asking which one they want?! Totally not being ungrateful. A pram for a first baby is the most exciting and important purchase (in my opinion anyway). I’d maybe talk to her yourself and explain that you’re thankful she bought it but you wanted to test a few different ones out first and look at reviews etc. I’d certainly not keep my mouth shut for a pram. You’re going to use it daily for a year or so depending on the make and model and you’ll possibly use it again if you ever want a second baby so you need to make sure you love it. It’s not as if it’s a piece of clothing where you can just lump it and put your baby in it once or twice to keep the peace.

Agree with all above! You can buy the one that you want and use hers as a backup. I have 3 strollers that way I don’t need to take it out of the car all the time

She should definitely have spoken to you and offered to pay towards a pram of your choosing or choosing together but you have final say. I totally understand where you're coming from with this, my exes mum tried this with me and wanted the travel system she chose and I said no because I wanted baby to be comfortable and a pram I find easy to push. I went and bought it myself in the end. Certainly not ungrateful they're just not being understanding x

Sorry but in what world did she think this was ok? Choosing a pram is quite the personal rite of passage in pregnancy, especially your first! Might be my grumpy third tri hormones making me a right moody mare right now… 😆 but this is a weird and unwarranted move on her part and I would be saying thanks but no thanks!

It was nice of her but she should have spoken to yous about it first. My mum and dad bought our pram for our first but I chose which one I wanted.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all, I think this is a really bizarre thing of her to do. And your partner not getting it is really unfair, especially as it’ll probably be you mainly using it. Prams are a really personal thing to decide on and buy, it took us weeks! Everyone has different lifestyles and requirements, let alone tastes in styles. Set the tone now as it sounds like she may be the type to overstep the mark again in future and it’s your baby 💪🏻

Literally I bought everything for my baby myself my choice my husband’s nephew gifted us a baby swing which I didn’t like and got a new one he didn’t mind really cuz it’s our baby and if something I didn’t like it’s simple I don’t like it !!

I just wouldn’t use it

Did she buy it at a shop? Ask her for receipt to go exchange it. I won’t settle on a pram that I don’t like, but that’s the reason I let people know I’m buying my own. Mums are usually very particular about what pram they want. Buy me literally anything else except the pram If it’s the “looking uncomfortable” part only that you’re doubting, they do sell like sheepskin pram covers, or can you get a liner to put on top (like if you like the pram itself) We had a liner on, and then in winter I bought a matching footmuff that covered his feet

You aren’t being ungrateful it’s your first , I’d be upset and do the same , should’ve spoken to you before hand xx

It’s a nice gesture however if the pram isn’t suitable to you and your baby’s needs it’s not ungrateful. I had my pram bought for me, totally was not expecting it when we went pram shopping and was so grateful however my family member ensured I tested every one, spoke to the sales assistant to make sure the pram was suitable for us etc. your partner probably doesn’t want to rock the boat unfortunately but he should have your back

I agree with you. My father-in-law wanted to buy me my pram and insisted on taking us pram shopping. I had HG, and he drove us miles to a pram shop. I was standing either in the toilet or outside being sick while they were in the shop testing prams and getting help from the people in the shop. I felt like I wasn't getting thr experience I deserve. I wanted to go pram shopping with my mum and have the proper experience. My mum and dad also wanted to contribute towards the pram. I ended up getting upset and telling my partner I appreciate his dad's generosity but I will only get the experience of picking the pram once. Instead I was being pushed out. Luckily he was very understanding and I got a proper experience in the end. You need to explain that you appreciate it but you'll only get that experience once and you deserve it, its your baby, you're going to be the one pushing the pram.