Does anyone ever feel like they are wasting there time with their partner
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Sometimes yes. My situation is different from yours in some ways. I’m always the one remaining calm and he starts raising his voice in front of our child and then shouts when I’m trying to resolve it and ask questions. I suspect it’s a fear that he doesn’t want to be criticised so he instead shuts you down and prevents it from going any further. The best thing you can do is be calm. The best thing you could do is leave. But I know it’s not an easy answer for everyone. My bf doesn’t like communicating and I have no idea why because what is the worst that can happen if he opens up and is calm? Life is too short
@Dionne 100 I agree, my partner does all the ranting and then goes days without speaking too me… after some days pass he will then start talking to me normal as if nothing happened and I’m sucked into it as the normal. When I’m actually still upset. Then when I explain that and him not speaking etc he says he was letting things blow over and me calm down. It’s starting to feel manipulative. Hes upset me.. then I’m silenced .. then I’m expected to just be fine. Or the other common thing is get am I bringing up the past. (Yet it was few days ago) and yet again I’m shut down n nothing resolved and this happens everytime for 5 years. So yh I’m just fed up at this point. Cos it doesn’t make me feel good to know I can’t ever get a sorry or just a conversation to work out things. scince last night he hasn’t spoken to me all day and he’s gone to bed , and tomorrow will be there same . And it’s just hurtful cos I have to still pretend to be ok . He has never in 5 yrs come off his own accord
@Dionne and said look yesterday was heated I apologise if you feel etc etc. I just get nothing. And this is just the communication. I pay for a lot of things towards house. every week he’s broke. I got nothing for Xmas, nothing for my birthday last week. and I’m sure nothing for our anniversary. But if it’s for himself n his needs he will find a way. Then when I say I’m not happy he will tell me go find another man a perfect man. or if I say we not gonna work he will then say keep threatening me n you will see. So everything is then put back on me. I’ve tried for so long but I’m just mentally starting to check out.
@August Elise Yhh it does suck! Even worse when u are given constant silent treatment. And no conversation about anything. But I’ve just told myself uno what I’m going to get on with my week and if we don’t talk then it’s fine and I’m just gonna leave it. I’m mentally & emotionally drained and I’ve accepted that when I do close this chapter if I end up alone with my 5 kids it will be worth my mental health.
Man it sucks having to vent online because your own partner won’t listen.. if your energy is constantly fckd with… and he really truly never listens then ya it might be a waste of time , tell him how you feel & tell him it’s not working & it’s making you unhappy & feel as if you wanna leave .. see what he says …. Your peace is valuable