Am I in the wrong about our roommates girlfriend not asking to spend the night and just doing it?
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Also- this is your home!!! Don’t be afraid to say “___ you need to leave by 5pm tonight” if you make it uncomfortable enough maybe they’ll get their shit together and get their own place or move to hers! Better yet, “___ I’m taking you home by 5pm and __ I’m adding the gas money I used to your rent for this month.”
Personally, I think it’s overkill if the girlfriend is overall a good guest (respectful, cleans up after themselves, not loud when the kids are sleeping, etc). They have a 1 yr old, maybe she’s been struggling at nighttime and just wanted some help ?? Did you not expect a person who is in a relationship and has a toddler to want their family to stay the night with them a few nights in a row ? Would you say no ? If not, does it really matter if this person asks “for permission” to have their family in the space that they pay for ?
I think there definitely should’ve been many questions or scenarios brought up beforehand, I see both of the commenters perspectives, it’s a hard one for sure. Probably feelings coming from both parties, he prob misses or wants his family by in the place he pays to call his current home. The actual owner feels disrespected and refuses a future cycle. In that case he should find a new living arrangement or be given a timeframe to find one because yes that isn’t acceptable when you’ve verbalized every night stayed should be asked about. But do have some sympathy instead of it being black and white because you have a family and he’s young(diff mindset not as responsible (didn’t ask)) if you were away I’m sure you’d want them too. So overall, just have a talk with him bein like yo this isn’t okay, either deal with asking if they can come over or find an arrangement you’re together. If it happens again, there’s going to be repercussions as in you’ll no longer be able to stay here.
Nip it in the bud. It can eventually turn into her living there and having rights. I assume she has a place where she primarily stays.. They can pop over there for a few nights a week.
Bad situation to be in. He’s an adult and pays rent so it’s technically his residence too. You also should have made him sign some sort of agreement. If you let this slide who’s to say she doesn’t pack a suitcase and stay a week next time, then a month. I remember a post like this not too long ago, I’m not sure if it was you. If this is something you feel strongly about then you need to sit them both down and tell them face to face. “At the end of the day this is my home. We agreed to let __ stay with us and pay rent but we did not agree to let you. We don’t mind the occasional one night sleep over, however if you decide for yourselves ___ is staying without permission we are going to have to charge extra or rethink this living arrangement.” At the end of the day… I would be rethinking the living arrangement. Personally I don’t like strangers in my home, I don’t even like friends in my home for more than a couple hours. But I’ll be damned if someone stays without asking.