Baby's first fall

I'm posting incognito because I don't want to publicly shame my husband. He's amazing but I just don't know if I can trust him with the baby anymore. We are first time parents and our son is 7 months old. We have a two story home, the main level and the basement, which is finished and has our bedrooms and gym. In order to get downstairs, there is a step on the side of the kitchen that leads to the stair case. I was working out, and the baby is with him upstairs in his rolling walker. I hear the baby having a blast, laughing and yelling at the dogs, I assume he's being watched. All of a sudden, I heard a thud, I immediately knew he rolled off the step towards the stairs. Luckily, the gym is right next to the stairs. I race up the stairs and the baby rolled off the step and is sideways crying in the walker. My husband is nowhere to be seen. I've never moved so fast in my life. I grab the walker and pull him out. He's obviously very upset. He was fine within 10 min, thank goodness. Just had a bruise on his forehead. It was terrifying to hear that sound and to know exactly what happened could have easily been prevented. I can't believe my husband didn't put a gate up, a box, anything to prevent our child from rolling off the step. He says, "I was only gone for 2 min" which is bullshit because it was definitely longer and honestly I don't care if he was gone for 30 sec, he left our son unattended, knowing he's already gotten super close to the step before. How do I let go and trust him to be alone with the baby again? He loves him and I know would never intentionally hurt him but he watches him 3 days a week and now I can't help but think, "what else may happen"? Any advice is appreciated to help ease my mind.

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I feel for you. It’s a tough situation and hard to know what anyone would do in that situation. In your heart you know your husband wouldn’t intentionally hurt your baby so that is a good sign. I’d say just talk to your husband again and raise your concerns and feelings about the situation.

I'm glad your son is safe. To put your mind at ease maybe you can do another round of babyproofing together. Go through the house and talk about potential hazards as your baby becomes more mobile. Let him do the first pass on each room or area. Talk about the level of risk you're both comfortable with and what would be uncomfortable (bumps and bruises) vs serious injuries (poison, electric shock, major falls) for baby. It will get your husband thinking, and hearing him talk about these things will help you know that he does consider them, he takes them seriously, and baby's safety is important to him. I'm sure you've already discussed a gate at the top of your stairs... Also, it might help you to write about your experience to get it out of your head. Right now it's trapped in a loop up there. You'll still remember, of course, but your brain won't be grasping to remember each detail because you've already written them down. If you feel comfortable with it, you can have your husband read what you've written.

I would avoid putting him in the rolling walker altogether, and you both should have put up a baby gate where stairs are when your son started going in the walker. Accidents happen, and he can't be with your son every single second. Maybe have a calm conversation about not using the walker and safe places to leave your son (cot, playpen, etc) if he needs to leave him to use the bathroom or something. I've hit my sons head on a fridge door, the edge of the couch, and he fell out of our bed and hit his head on a phone charger. My partner understands these were accidents and still trusts me with our son. I'm currently a SAHM. Why do you say it was longer than 2 minutes, by the way?

@Bonny thank you, these are all great ideas which I'm going to do. The writing is a great, I journal anyway each morning 🌄

@Hannah I've definitely had accidents w him before, which are things neither one of us could have predicted but this was something easily avoided, which is why I'm so frustrated. I said the 2 min bc he left him longer than w min and he seems to think leaving him for "only 2 min" was perfectly fine. This boy is every where in the walker and he knows that so leaving at all alone in it is never a good idea whether it's 2 min or a few seconds. I think it's time to bring out the pin since he's becoming mobile so thanks for mentioning that 😊

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