My child's father, my husband, is not helping discipline our child but wants to blame me for her behavior. What do I do ?

Whenever she's with her Dad, she's out of control. She screams, and commands him to do things and one time she threw her chair at him in anger. He just let's her do it, she's 5, one time I came back home she's jumping on the bed screaming at the top of her lungs and he's just saying she's a kid. When he goes in public with her and she acts like this he then blames it on I'm the mother, but when she's with me she knows she'll be in trouble. Hes alos the dad that doesn't tell her no when she wants large amounts of candy and ice cream .I I tell him he has to discipline her again and again, I'm tired I'm losing respect for him.
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Maybe you could get a child behaviourist to do a home visit? They can give you the tools to discipline her. All while making it neutral space for you and your husband to establish how to discipline her moving forward. Then he wont be able to place blame on you for her behaviour because he will have the tools to know what to do.

Discuss how important it is that you both have the same rules. Write down the rules for your child and tell him the exact strategies for enforcing them. At the end of the discussion, set the expectation that you’ll be having a weekly checkin to see how the rules are going and if any of the rules or discipline strategies need to be changed. When you see him failing to be firm, correct him on the spot. When he starts blaming you, tell him to cut that shit out

Her behavior isn’t fine but it is normal.. she needs boundaries and you two need to agree on what those boundaries need to be and enforce them. You and he are supposed to be a team.. especially in her eyes. What isn’t allowed with mommy shouldn’t be allowed with daddy and vice versa.

@Rebecca correct him ? Likes he's a child, I don't want a man I have to treat like a child

Gas lighting you about her behavior isn't ok a d i wouldn't have another conversation about this. I'd probably start the decoupling process and suggest he start some counselling or id slate us for couples counselling and use that to learn to coparent and break up

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