I adore my son but i’m enjoying motherhood

I'm a 22 almost 23 year old mum to a 9 month old baby, and I honestly feel like I’m struggling with motherhood. I’ve battled both prenatal and postnatal depression, and I have no support from my mum due to a toxic and abusive relationship with her starting from childhood when her and my dad would leave me to babysit my 1 year old brother at the age of 7 whilst they went to work overnight. When I was pregnant, she pushed me down the stairs and left me homeless. So, I don’t get any support from my family. My boyfriend is amazing. He’s incredibly supportive, looking after both me and our son every day. He does most of the parenting he cooks, bathes our son, makes bottles, changes diapers, and honestly handles about 70% of the parenting responsibilities. I feel guilty because he barely gets any sleep sometimes at most he will get an hour or two, even when he has to go to work. He used to play football and go to the gym, but he’s given up on that to focus on us. I love both my boyfriend and my son deeply, but I also feel a lot of resentment. My boyfriend and I met in 2018 and became a couple in 2021, but since having our son, it feels like everything has changed. I had dreams of traveling, buying a house, finishing university, and building my career, but now it feels like all of that is out of reach. I constantly compare myself to others my age who are thriving in their careers, traveling, and living carefree lives without the responsibilities I have. I can’t help but regret everything and wish we had waited. We have tried to figure out a routine so that I can have time for myself or so we can have time as a couple during the day but that seems to never work out and my son won’t sleep without contact. I don’t want you to feel like this any longer😭

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Its a lot when you have a baby. It sounds like you haven’t got any support other than your partner which can be really hard. Baby’s are a lot of hard work and when you haven’t had the best role models it can make it even harder. Are there support groups you can look into to vent and know that you aren’t alone? Its understandable to have fear of missing out. But you are still so young that you can still have the career, travel and all that. You’ve just done it the opposite way to some others. So in a few years when they struggle with new borns and all that youll be off traveling or having days out/holidays with your toddler/child. Its hard being a mum as we go through so much and then the hormone imbalance lasts bloody ages so that adds to us not feeling ourselves. Youre never alone and a lot of us feel this way. as it’s a big adjustment. But maybe reach out to your GP/doctor as they might be able to give you a good support group too help you navigate what you're feeling

Stay strong girl! 💪💪 Work with your present moment not against it and you’ll find a way to get through it. Also try and not to compare your life with others, delete social media if necessary 🤗🥰

Plus you still super young 💪💪❤️ sending you loads of good vibes 😎

Having a baby is a big thing to adjust to especially with all the crazy hormones that run through our bodies for a long time after giving birth. Reach out to your doctor or GP. They will help you cope a little smoother and they might be able to give you some support groups you can reach out to. Don’t compare yourself to others. Everyone’s lives goes in different directions and that’s okay. You’re still young and can still accomplish everything you want to do in life. Set small goals each day or whatever and work towards it. Take Bub for a nice long walk in the fresh air for your mental health. Fresh air and getting out and about does wonders. Nice hot bath for some you time, mothers groups could help a lot as they could probably relate. You got this mumma. Be strong, set small goals, reach out. Everything takes time but be confident you will achieve everything you want

Honestly when my daughter was around the same age I felt the same. I was homeless while pregnant and only got my home when my daughter was 18 months old. My mother has never met my daughter and apart from my partner and my grandparents I would have no one. I look back and call it the trenches. It’s so hard. Harder than you could ever fathom when we get pregnant and dream about the cute outfits we’ll be putting baby in. I think it’s completely normal to feel the way you do. Your whole life has changed. You planned a life without a child in it or without knowing how difficult it would be so I always thought grieving your old life so you can make room for you new one will help. I had so much I wanted to do, and I still will, just a little later. And while my daughter is small I try to appreciate the little time I have with her being this small. I know I’ve rambled but I just wanted you to know that it gets easier. Realistically there’s other things that become hard but you’ll

Get through them! 🤍

I also had a baby at 22 and I have been able to start a new career, bought a house, got married and I’m now 25 and having another. I am saying all this so you know, it is not too late and you will do absolutely fine. I am here if you want to talk about anything.

Hey girl, its alot of work tbh! Im doing it alone and going to university. It is still possible, dont think that because you have a child you cant make the future you want, you can. Stay strong n do something to help towards ur mental health, go on walks etc. reach out to your gp they’ll be able to help aswell. Do not compare your life to others, your life is different to others n what you see isnt all that. You got this!

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