Struggling

I’m sure your not doing anything wrong. My son is like this but we make a really effort to be clear sometimes dad does things sometimes I do. Like getting him out the car he always wants me. He kicks off but we just had to keep pushing it and now he still does sometimes but it is short lived.

As a mum of 4 under 5, I’ve seen 2 of mine go through this phase and it’s completely normal. A lot of the anger / frustration comes from developing a strong will / sense of self and opinions without a lot of tools or vocabulary to express themselves. They also realise they’re separate from you, and have a different will which causes strange feelings for them. They’re looking for control and autonomy, but they’re scared of having it too, because they’re constantly in a state of testing boundaries and limits and learning from mistakes. Those lessons can hurt. In short, she’s going through a tough time and can’t express herself. She clings to you because you’re a safe place for her, but it really won’t last. In the tough moments remember it’s temporary, and completely normal developmentally for her age. Hang in there Mumma xx

Been through similar phases too and it’s definitely temporary and will pass eventually (although they can feel like they’ll never end…!). Sometimes we find it helps to talk through the plan and what to expect as they understand so much. I find explaining who is doing what or going to do what and that ‘it’s daddy’s turn for x today and mummy will do it tomorrow’ helps sets his expectations so he’s aware of what’s coming. Also not giving in if you’ve said one person is doing it, seeing it through - although easier said than done! I did find when i was ill and couldn’t do all those things my son got much more used to daddy doing things so made less fuss - so perhaps just let dad do it alone for some time if you can, so that becomes more a norm? You can get through it 🫶🏼

Thank you SO MUCH for replying. It’s made me feel so less alone. It’s been going on for months now and just feels like it’s getting worse and more intense. My partners job is very unpredictable and maybe my little one just feels more safe with me?!? I’ve really tried to set the boundary with him doing bed time etc, explaining before hand etc but she’s so distressed she’s nearly sick. It’s heart breaking. How long does this phase usually last? She’s now crying at drop off at nursery when I leave when she hasn’t done in the 2 years she’s been there. She has fully dropped her nap too so maybe it’s all a bit emotional for her and she doesn’t have the words like you said x