Do you have issues with your partners phone behaviour?

Some people are just like this when it comes to their phone, as our phones these days are an extension of us, and quite private! I'd hate for my partner to potentially snoop through my phone, it's such an invasion of privacy. My partner takes his phone to the bathroom EVERY time, and I know its because he's got adhd and gets bored, so likes something to watch 😄. As long as he hasn't given u any other reason to not trust him I wouldn't have an issue

@Rebecca, how can you possibly get bored when you are doing a wee? My partner stands, takes 2 seconds, and yet feels the need to take his phone even then. I wouldn't care if my partner uses my phone because A. I have nothing to hide, B. Don't feel he would "go through my phone" and C. Don't consider it private, in regards to my partner. Like, I don't understand why someone wouldn't be OK with their life partner ordering food on their phone, quickly googling something, sending a quick text, making a quick call if their phone is dead or reading something you specifically wanted to show them.

I have my phone with me all the time. Currently sitting on the toilet 😂. So this wouldn’t bother me unless there were other reasons for you to worry. I answered yes because my husband spends a silly amount of time playing games on his phone.

@Elsa, it isn't just about how he takes it everywhere. We pulled over once so he could nap, and he took his phone from the console to nap with it. Said it was in case he didn't hear the alarm he set, but it made me uncomfortable. He has made a weird noise, leant back, and yanked the phone away from me while showing me something he specifically looked up for me. He has gotten weird when I have gone to borrow his phone for whatever reason. He often will show me his phone but not let me hold it. Once, when we were trying to watch porn together and he was looking for a video, he turned his phone so much I could only see the back. We were sitting side by side. He later said he didn't realise he'd done that. He has his ex's number saved in his phone (discovered this well into our relationship), and he said it was in case she called. He'd know not to answer. She threatened him with a knife, and he had walked out that night, and then 18 months later, she called several of his family members a few times.

I think trying to hide it from you when he holds it is definitely a red flag. I wouldn’t worry about the ex’s number being saved personally. I have the numbers of all my exs too and haven’t been in contact with them since we split. Hope things improve for you whatever it is you decide to do. 🙏🏻

You sound like you know how most points you’ve mentioned are red flags and you’ve clearly been thinking about this quite a bit to have an extensive list of a lot of the times his behaviour’s made you uncomfortable so I don’t mean this in a bad way but - not sure what you’re looking for with a question like this on here? My point is: even if someone gives you a “valid” excuse for some of those points, it’s not going to make you feel better at all you’re only going to shut them down because your partner seems to be showing a pattern of worrying behaviour for a committed relationship. So instead of asking this, I think you’re better off asking yourself why you are still with him and writing a list of pros and cons and seeing how you feel about the weight of your findings. You could even try posting a question about: “I have no proof, I feel like my partner’s possibly cheating on me, I am lost on what to do” You may get better advice from ladies who’ve been there x

Too many red flags girl, go with your instincts.

Sounds like your instincts are telling you something. So trust those mama 💜

@Tulin, I'm asking if others have issues with their partners' phone use because I have no idea if I'm overreacting. I would like to know if all this behaviour could be normal, why someone do some of these things (like not let their life partner order dinner on their phone), and how you would broach this with a partner. I'm not even suggesting he is cheating, I'm just confused by his behaviour, he's my first boyfriend and I have noone to talk to.

You are Not overreacting 👆🏼 . It’s making you uncomfortable . We have instincts for a reason 💜

Easy fix . He needs to give u access to his phone and show u he has nothing there

@Luz, I don't want to look through his phone. I just want to know why he acts weird with it.

So how are you supposed to know why he acts weird with it if you don’t want to find what he’s possibly hiding on there and also as you mentioned you already spoke about it but it didn’t make a difference? To answer your question others normally wouldn’t have issues with their partners phone use if it’s just a matter of using it for browsing / gaming / calling / texting - but no sudden jerky movements or hiding the screen. As for not letting you order dinner - which is a bit different from all other points you raised - it’s hard to answer that for you without more context. Firstly, he should definitely outright answer that question with a clear answer but - asking yourself how you two usually split cost and expenditure is a good place to start? Like does he expect you to go half on everything usually? Does he solely take care of your living costs? Are there any other flags over your use of “his” money? Its just different issue to every other pretty concerning point you raised.

@Tulin, I just want him to be open and honest with me. Like I've broached the phone thing before, and it wasn't until recently that he said he is weird because of his drug runner past, and it is habit. It's been 10 years since he was in that life. So this while it makes sense is still odd to me. Also, why not mention that when I first said the phone stuff makes me uncomfortable? Or when it was brought up again? Or again? Like I knew about his past so why did it take 4 times for him to mention that? See, I didn't think people would have issues. He uses mine without issue. We have always shouted each other or shared the cost. So someone would buy, and the other would transfer or shout. He is also the one who chose takeaway. I don't have any income at the moment, so I rely on my partner, and he knows that, has said it's OK and even suggested I don't spend my small amount of savings. I ended up having to spend a chunk of it for our sons therapy, paediatrician appointment and various bills etc