How to cope with the resentment
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I am also struggling so much with resentment toward my partner but more for not helping in general with our toddler and the house. My partner has become one of the men that wants to go to work come home, have dinner ready, sit and watch TV or scroll till he goes to bed. I am on the verge of leaving if things don't change. I don't want to raise my son around someone who is so self centered.
Start by talking to him and expressing how important it is for him to put in more effort. Make it clear you’re serious and need his help. If he doesn’t listen, focus on yourself and the baby instead of worrying about him. Let him see that you’re tired and don’t have the energy for anything else, and explain how hurt you feel that he isn’t helping when you need him most. While breastfeeding may fall on you, everything else can be shared, so it’s essential to recognize how much he’s actually doing. I struggled with this too, but communication is key. Be honest and ask why he’s struggling to help. Yes, it’s easy for him to say, “the baby wants mum,” but he needs to understand how much you sacrifice as a mother. Lastly it’s ok to go through this just make sure you stick together be open and honest with your partner if they’re a good partner they’ll want to help and change we all get a little selfish sometimes but try communicating how much you do and you can get through this mama ! ❤️
No wisdom here to overcome resentment. Similar issues here. However, now that my son is acting toddler and my husband does work and pay the bills, I give him a break and do most of the hard work. I really struggled with the lack of understanding and support. Keep asking for what you need and want... in my case, I sometimes expect my partner to know what I want/ need and resent him when he doesn't give it to me. Be more vocal, if you aren't already. Make boundaries, like I expect you to wake up at night and help put baby back to sleep at least once. Remind him that the biggest predictor of a child's mental health is the health of his mom (its true!). Tell him, I need more sleep if you want me to work on myself. I hope this helps. But also consider that men don't have the long-term vision that we mothers have... when you do something for your son, it's for your baby and NOT for your husband, and you will get rewards for all the struggle you go through for your baby, even if dad is part of the prob.