Thinking about BD every day lately
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@Tasmin Hey hun thank you so much for sharing its so comforting to read this. You’re so right I have to focus on continuing to create a beautiful life for me and my son. I guess I need to get busier so I don’t ruminate on the past xx
I am sorry this happened to you. Yes it is normal. My ex was awful and so toxic. I am so glad we are not together. But yes I thought of my ex way too much. If it is bothering you. Counseling might help. I wish I had gotten counseling for it. I was stuck for so many years. I loved him so much. He never loved me. He was so mean. I tried to keep in contact so he could be there for our daughter but he wasn't interested most years. Every couple years he would come around for 4-6 weeks. Usually after he got dumped. He would use her to try and get back with his ex. Or he would try and hook up with me. When I said no it blew up and I was every name in the book. And he would take off again for a couple years. Every time he came back I would hope he had grown up so he could finally be a dad. It was awful. It hurt my daughter every time. She would act out so bad after he left every time. I was so wrong to give him so many chances.I am only sharing so hopefully no one else will be as stupid as I was.
Are u open to letting him be in ur son’s life? Maybe that’s what’s missing.
@Patricia I’m so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for your advice I’m definitely going to stick to my boundaries even though it might be hard sometimes and my son might perceive me as the vilan x
Hey @Luz , at the moment my answer is no because I feel like he would try to cause me pain through my son. Which is my worse nightmare! I think someone that treats you bad in pregnancy is a very dangerous character flaw. Also he has never made an effort to connect again and be here for this little human we created and the fact that he is ok living day to day like nothing happened is absolutely terrifying. Shows that he’s deeply emotionally wounded. I would not trust him around my son that’s why I left when I was pregnant because I don’t want to inflict pain and more trauma on my baby. But yes part of me sees also that hurt people hurt people so I wish I could help him so he could be a good father to our son. But then again it’s not my burden to carry. I just need to focus on being a great mom giving him a childhood he doesn’t need to heal from x
If you ever want to talk please message. Yes I was the villain for a long time. I would tell her "he isn't ready to be a dad. It has nothing to do with you." Then one day, he showed his true colors with her. And sadly she found out for herself. It was bad but I could finally say "This is what I was trying to protecting from. But I had no idea it would be this bad. I am sorry this happened. " It took a bit longer but now we are doing better than ever. I am sorry I am so late replying I lost the notification down the feed.
Hiya, not exactly the same but my daughter’s father left me when she was 2 months old, in retrospect it was the best thing he ever did for me, he too was quite toxic. There were many times where I’d replay conversations and moments in my head however this does pass, now I’ve moved on and have better things to focus on such as my LO the thoughts barely cross my mind at all xx it sounds like your son is lucky to have you as his mother, cherish every moment and stand proud and what you have done xx