How ya do it
Show your support
It’s easier when you get support and help. My husband comes home and goes straight to dad duty (except maybe a shower or bath to clean up from work as he sometimes works around harsh chemicals) but he still plays with my daughter while I finish what I’m doing or to let me lay down or take a bath in peace with no complaints. He takes care of our chickens as I’m 32 weeks pregnant and can’t stand the smell (or the cold weather 😅) and he helps out with any chores that he notices need done (not as good as finding things to do as me however he tries and will do anything I ask) and then we have alone time before we go to bed for the night so I can talk to an adult or get to “date” him again because he knows how isolated I am staying home and on weekends he still works but makes time to give me breaks and take us out to leave the house. I wouldn’t be able to do it if I didn’t have the support honestly
@MINERVA according to him he does help on his way, he does acknowledge what I do and never ask for anything I just feel like he can me more active plus he’s overweight
@Katie honestly he does a couple things here and there and he works overnight so when he gets home in the morning he get my daughter ready and take them 2 school while I’m sleeping with the twins then he wakes up before picking them up and that’s about it. When he’s here he does take the babies but I think not enough I don’t know if I’m wrong here or I’m just aggravated and looking for any wrongs. Maybe I’m not build to be a stay at home mom or maybe I just fell out of love for him
I've been going there that for a long time. I guess I just got to use to it. I will say that I gave him a "threaten" talk just basically saying get out of the house and leave me and the kids alone and don't ever get to see your kids cause I'm Flippy tired of you not helping!!!!! or help me and you won't lose me and the kids. I was straight to the point with him. It slowly took him to realize what was going on . Each day it slowly gets better. But past a few years now. I'm taking care of the kids during the day . When he comes home it's his turn until it's bed time . Then we do our own thing after the kids are sleeping. It feels like a roommate/ baby daddy relationship. I still love him . He says he loves me but honestly he doesn't really show it . But now I'm pregnant with his third kid ... 😭😭😭😭... So to me it is rough now...
I just use to being stress and having meltdowns
I mean if you want/need more help just tell him. Do you guys ever spend time together as a couple? I know it’s hard with him working nights (my husband travels frequently for work so I get it) but making us as a couple a priority has really helped us communicate better and become better teammates/friends/partners
You could send me a message if you want I can go into a lot more detail. If this is your first time, and the babies are almost 2 months old, give yourself lots of grace. This is new for you and them. As far as babies, dad, you have to sit down with him and have an honest conversation if you need help and you don’t want to mother him or tell him what to do and how to do it. So maybe you could give them a handful of things you need done and give him time to do it. Like someone mentioned above support is key! If you don’t have any friends or family, that can help, look for a local moms group. Go to lots of parks and I promise you you’ll find some friends not only that have been through this but probably also going through it at the same time. Also, someone mentioned it like a scale one side will always tilt up. It’s your choice as to what you do. Sometimes dishes and laundry are not done. Oh well. Other days the house is clean. Great. Just know everything cannot be done all at once
I think what would really help you is getting out of the house. Maybe make an agreement where you can leave the house for an hour, go to the gym for a coffee or just for a simple walk during that time. Personally for me the days where I stay home all day long are the worst. I understand it’s hard to get out of the house with little babies but it will get easier once you can take them to some activities
@Thea oh wow, I’m sorry to heard that as well I guess we all fighting our battles some how. I do feel you on the baby daddy/ roommate
I’ve just accepted that my husband wants nothing to do with our son 🤷🏼♀️😂 He cooks and does bedtime routine though which is nice I just go about my day and include my toddler. What other choices do I have 🤷🏼♀️😂😂😂
Hi. 👋 happy to talk . Do you wanna message ? Well ,as a dad I think it should be jn his initiative really to help even if he works. He should be able to consider that it is also his kid/s. Just some men are irresponsible. They want perfect ,nice ,subtle wives but it reflects on them how they treat wives. I hope that you get through this.