Living in the same house after splitting
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Ok so me and my partner split back in October 2022. We tried to seek the house but at the time, the market sucked. Anyway, fast forward some time…. We fell pregnant again… we are now putting the house on the market again within the next week. I am the one that has pushed for this. He would quite happily live together and raise our daughters. We have a 4 bedroom house so space in that sense wouldn’t be an issue. But ultimately I am not happy, we both need to move on. We do get on and co parent well, o believe we will still get on well afterwards also. But I’ve explained to him that I’m not happy anymore and want to move on. Not in a sense of meeting another guy, but in a sense of not feeling trapped etc. I’ve lost myself as a person being in this scenario. Do I believe 2 people can live together and coparent after they’ve separated? Yes but only if both sides agree and set boundaries that need to be set.
@Korissa I’m sorry you had to go through this and to me this is what would suck the most as I know he will stop helping out as much and knowing I still love him and he is just there doing his own thing. Not sure I can handle it.
@Lauren did it ever get confusing for the kids and other family members? Did you get back together at some point or were you just still sleeping together? We have never told my family about any of our issues but I know the moment we do, that would be the end of our relationship and we wouldn’t be able to live together anymore as we only have a 3 bed, I’m expecting baby no.2 and I need help from my mum if I don’t get it from him.
Yeah I’m sorry to you to! For me, It is what it is, he paid all the bills so I could be a stay at home mom and get the time I wanted with my son so I got over it. Some people break up and then don’t get help and are forced to go back to work and lose that quality time. I will say now that I don’t live with him anymore and can’t see him come and go it’s SO much better. Out of sight out of mind. It depends on what you can take mentally. I’m stronger mentally than I was financially at the time so it was the right choice for me.
So our first was born in April 2022, we split in the October 2022. We decided to love together for ease and he didn’t want to be away from his daughter. We set boundaries etc. we tried again ay the end of 2023, I fell pregnant. Our second daughter was born in October last year. We decided at the start of this year that it doesn’t work and we don’t work. We get on well as friends but absolutely nothing more. He again didn’t want to move but I ended up demanding we sell, so we are! I want to move on, I deserve to. So does he. Our family know about all the issues. They know we get on well, we have a good unit
@Lauren I worry that it will all go wrong as soon as my family gets involved as it has taken 3years just to get them onboard for multiple reasons so I worry they wouldn’t understand why we would still be living together but yet I would still need their help so cannot avoid telling them
If you living together is what you and your child’s father both want, and it’s what’s best. Then you need to tell them but make them understand that this is YOUR choice and they must respect that. Yes they can ask questions etc, but it’s support you need now
It’s not easy but if you guys don’t have an abusive relationship and can be cordial while whomever gets on their feet/makes arrangements then why not. My and my bd lived together a year after splitting so I could stay home w my son and it was what was best for my son. But it definitely sucked especially since I had to watch him get dressed and go out drinking and having while I stayed home w the baby every night.