Overreacting?

MIL keeps making remarks about my toddler’s eating and several were accusatory of starvation. This is something she has done since he was born. I have finally gotten to the point where I am sickened by her. We were in my car. My OH was driving, my In-Laws were in the back with my toddler. He likes to chew on one of his toy cars. MIL noticed this and said things along the line of “Are they not feeding you?”, “Poor starved child”, and “Mummy and Daddy don’t feed you so you eat toys”. My OH replied with a blunt “Yep, must be it”. I, on the other hand, glared at him because he knows how much these comments bother me. My toddler gets plenty of meals and snacks throughout the day. I will never deprive him of any food, especially when he asks for something. He was born on the smaller side and is slim. Despite this, he is healthy and active. His Doctors are happy with his eating and have never expressed any concern over his size. At lunch, my toddler was eating a lot of food. She then started to comment on this, too. I put more food onto his plate and then she decided to say that I was barely eating anything. When I said I was full, she scoffed. I have told my OH that the comments from my MIL are unacceptable. I emphasised that as someone who had an eating disorder, I find her to be vile. She often comments on my eating habits and has accused me of starving myself (in front of guests) when I was postpartum. I have also reiterated that I will not allow her to be around our children if she continues with her disgusting behaviours. I do not want my children having eating disorders or thinking there is something wrong with their body image. I, personally, do not feel this is an overreaction. I have already distanced myself from her. My OH is stuck in the middle of respecting my wishes but also having to deal with my MIL playing victim, so I do feel for him.

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You are definitely not overreacting at all! She shouldn’t be commenting on anyone’s weight! My MIL used to make comments on how skinny I was and how I’d never have a flat stomach after having kids. I had a kid and my husband asked her to get me gift cards for Christmas so I could get myself new clothes and she refused because she had gone back to her original weight after childbirth so I should’ve too 🙄 she also calls her husband fat and saying he needs to lose weight and when my husband first started living with me she’d complain he was too skinny and said I wasn’t feeding him

@Katie I’m so sorry you had to experience this 😢

Thank you! I’m sorry your husband feels trapped in the middle because that’s rough spot to be in. My husband didn’t care for his mom’s victim playing and would call her out. We ended up cutting her off completely (for several reasons) and we are happier than ever. I would have a serious talk to your MIL about the comments and how unacceptable and inappropriate they are or she doesn’t have to be around your child

You're not overreacting. I have a similar situation. My mil likes to comment on my toddlers size. My little one is in the 99th percentile for height and weight for her age, but as her pediatrician states "she's very proportionate and very healthy". She calls her thunder thighs and says she got it from me. If you have to tell someone more than once that speaking this way is unacceptable and needs to stop, then it's intentional.

@Morgan She’s well aware of what she says. There’s been several times where she has made remarks in front of other people and they have spoken up about it. She’s plain toxic. I hope your MIL gets better about saying things ☺️

That's both annoying and absolutely gross. I couldn't brush it off. Mine is getting better about it. Sometimes she talks just to hear herself. I try not to read too much into it, but I don't want my little girl to feel insecure in her skin. Sometimes you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. It sounds like she looks for things to comment on when it comes to anything you do.

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