Toxic moms..

We speak but there’s lots of childhood trauma there. Message me 🤍

Bingo❗️ Moms and Dads can be very toxic and that’s why i do not bring my kids around my parents. Just because you gave birth to me doesn’t mean that i owe you my life.

This! I have a fantastic mother in law but my biological mother just seems to be the toxic one I’ve had to go completely no contact with her wasn’t healthy for my mental health

Same

I talk with her to a certain extent, but there’s a lot of trauma with her so I keep my distance. I love her from a distance just to keep my own sanity. My mother in law is a little different but still shows me more love than how my mother is now

U can message me I don’t have a good relationship wiv my mother it’s very rocky up n down n since I moved out Yh I barely see her sometimes my own mum doesn’t say she loves me

I've seen the same with people often having bad relationships with the MIL but great with biological mother. For me it's the other way around. My partners mum is great and very understanding of boundaries I have put in place since having my son, like no pictures on social media etc. However my own mum has a problem with the fact I haven't sent her pictures despite me knowing she probably wouldn't follow my rules. Not just that but I have had a lot of childhood trauma partly her fault which she hasn't taken accountability for. She is toxic and narcissistic which due to my own experiences with her is why I will now limit contact with her or not have any contact at all to protect my little boy. She doesn't seem too bothered about him anyway. I haven't heard from her since the end of november when he was a couple weeks old ever since I refused to send her pictures. Also I did try to compromise with her and offered a videocall to meet him which she said, not meeting him over a video call. (Part.1)

She lives about 60 miles away and he hasn't had all his first injections yet. Not to mention we're in the peak of cold and flu season. Even my partners mum hasn't even held him yet. She's fine with it and understands. My mum however doesn't. We went through a lot in our lives just to be able to get our son and yes I'm protective, I don't ever want him hurt and certainly don't want him dying because people couldn't or wouldn't be patient enough and follow rules. Either way he's not missing out by my mum not being there, he has my partners family and all our friends in his life and we're so blessed to have them 💜

You have every right to not be okay with your mom especially if she’s doing things that you find “toxic.” People who love, care, and want what’s best for you will hear you out, instead of judging. Just because she’s your mom does not mean she gets a pass to cross your boundaries & do whatever she wants. Your feelings, boundaries, and’s just you as a person matter to! Personally I would always put my mom and grandma who raised me on a pedestal, and I always excused their behavior because they were my mom and I felt bad for them. I realized I a was a people pleaser because of childhood trauma & started seeing things for what they were regardless if they were my mom or not. Protect yourself and your feelings. People will hopefully learn to respect you.

Since having kids I don’t get on with my other at all. I feel like a little stupid child when I’m with her. She corrects me all the time and forces me to do things her way. She doesn’t say words of encouragement and doesn’t bring positivity instead she always tries to tell me I do things wrong. She’s closed minded. I enjoy my life and I’m doing so well but she tries to tell me my partner isn’t good enough or how we live. She’s stressing me out so I barely talk to her. My MIL is great though!

My mum is quite toxic i actually had my mother in law with me while I gave birth instead of my mum as she just stresses me out

You are not alone 💚. It's especially triggering when you have a child and your relationship with your biological mother is unhealthy. Our elders are supposed to guide and support us through motherhood, but that can't happen when they aren't in alignment with us.

I go through a lot of shit with my mom. I don't normally ask her for much, and if I do, she always lets me down somehow and completely disrespects the boundaries I have set for my children. I don't normally even have her keep an eye on my kids because I don't trust her, and I honestly can't tell when she's even sober anymore.

On the one year anniversary of the passing of my fiance and father of my children, my mom was watching my kids, so I could go and be depressed by myself. Something didn't feel right so I went back and my youngest son had fallen into a fire pit and his hand was badly burned. I've never forgiven her.

Hello, how are you? I'm sorry that your relationship with your mum is difficult. I've experienced this. My relationship with my mum has never been great and was toxic in a way that was gas lighty, more so emotionally abusive. I'm 25, and nearly 3 years ago, i decided that I'd have to cut my own mum out of my life for my own mental health. For a long time, I felt guilty for doing so, but I felt and still do feel free!

My mental health has never been better, and my health physically changed for the better. Like magic, my anxiety and awful IBS just varnished. I had ibs through the stress. I've also been judged for cutting my mum out if my life and have been told that you only get one mum! But do you know my response to that? Would you allow a friend to treat you the way your parents do? If the answer is no, then why would you allow your mum to treat you that way just because they gave birth to you?

How I carry on is that I ask my self when ever I'm in doubt that I've done the wrong or right thing is that... would I treat my own daughter or son the way my mum treated me? I'm of course not telling you to cut contact with your mother, but maybe putting some boundries in place would be a good start and minimise how much time you are with her or speak to her on the phone and even tell her how she makes you feel. Unfortunately I couldn't do that with my mum but maybe it will work for you? When you feel drained, know when enough is enough. I'm having my first ever baby, and it is hard not having her to turn to, but you make your own tribe. I've been councling and it's been great. I don't know if you've done it or given counselling some thoughts, but it really helped me and still is. You're not alone in this. it's sadly more common than we think to have toxic relationships with our parents. Just remember your feelings and mental health matters. I hope that you can figure this out lovely.💖 x

I hear you. It’s hard when the person who is supposed to love and support you also brings toxicity into your life. I’ve experienced my own challenges with my relationship with my mom, and it’s painful to feel like you’re judged for setting boundaries. For me, finding peace has been about loving from a distance when necessary and protecting my emotional well-being. You’re not alone in this <3 My mother married the man that MOLESTED ME A YEAR AFTER HE WAS RELEASED FROM PRISON > meaning she was always in contact with him :):

I completely understand I started the year not talking to my mom because she kind of made it the last straw with me on Christmas. Some of her toxic behavior includes threatening to cancel my baby shower and lie to my relatives saying I wasn’t going to go… and continuously buying baby clothes from cheap websites that breaks my babies very sensitive skin out and being completely upset when she doesn’t see my little girl in them, threatening to give my baby food when we weren’t ready etc So just to breathe clearer I cut her off but now my whole family is begging me to talk to her. Stay strong and toxic free