My husband doesn’t want the baby
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I agree you need to sit with this decision longer. First reactions can be misleading. This is coming from someone who is STAUNCHLY pro choice, but you need to do what you can live with Mama. You say he would hold it against you, but will you someday hold it against him? Against yourself? Only you can decide what you can live with. Take some time to figure that out. I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Sending you all the love and light ❤️
Let me say this about the "reasoning" he gave. I am the first born. Before I was born my father want 6+ kids after I was born he didn't know how to love a second child. No part of him didn't want my brother he just didn't know how to share his love. He discovered instantly as all parents do. You don't share the love you have for the first you heart grows bigger. Yes things need to be share but that doesn't alway mean double. For example lots of baby things can be reused yes you often pay a nanny more but it's not double. I strongly stress getting some consueling together and maybe individually. He shouldn't be bullying you even if his fears are understandable. Having two Littles is not easy but it is a blessing in way you don't even think of until you watch youngest care for the sick oldest or listen to your oldest suggest ways to make the baby stop crying and be happy again.
The most important relationship in my life aside from my child is with my sibling. It’s a truly special bond. You would be giving your son so much more in the long run than the short-term split attention, so don’t worry about that. You just found out tonight, your husband may be in shock and panicking - he wouldn’t be the first. Digest it, let him process. And try not to get too caught up imagining future scenarios where he resents you. People can surprise you, but even if he did… that would be on him, and you’d deal with it. That’s not a reason to do anything that doesn’t feel right - this decision is more important. Best of luck whatever you decide - wish I could give you a hug.
You need to do what you want. If you want this child, then don't let him convince you to abort. I would seek counselling and prepare myself for being a single mum and co-parenting. He will resent you if you don't abort and may treat the baby differently, and you will resent him if you do. You need to work out what you want and go from there.
You can't force him to change how he feels, but he can't force you to get rid of it. It wasn't on purpose, & he wasn't careful. You got pregnant by surprise once. Which meant it could happen again. There should've been some type of birth control in place. He shouldn't be surprised.He needs to husband up, if you (your body, your choice) wants to keep it.
I know it’s hard but I agree with everyone who says this has to be your decision to make! I’m pro choice as well, but you have to listen to yourself + your heart, that’s what matters the most because you have to live with it at the end of the day. you have to be 100% sure this is what YOU wanna do.
Do NOT abort simply because your husband doesn’t want it, PLEASE! 🙏🏼 Cause if this isn’t what YOU want in your heart of hearts, it’s going to traumatize you! Though I could never get an abortion myself, I’m definitely pro choice. And if it were YOUR choice I would support it…but it doesn’t sound like it is in fact, your choice. So please just sit with this awhile and think about it. Decide if this is actually something you not only want, but are ok with and can live with (for the rest of your life) doing. There’s nothing wrong with it if it’s what you truly want, but like I said, if it’s NOT what you want, it will traumatize you! Don’t take this lightly, PLEASE 🙏🏼
Maybe you could also explain to him one day me and you will God willing grow old and leaving a child in the world alone with no siblings is just as painful. If he could look towards the future outside of finances things can happen in life. I'm pregnant at 41yrs old and I have a 5yr old and she's constantly saying she's lonely. I'm so happy for her because I wasn't expecting to get pregnant after one month of reconciliation with my husband but that's life it's ever changing. If there's enough for 1 there's enough for 2. Truly if you don't want to do this and you do it under his pressure you may resent him and grow apart. It's not my place but I say choose life it's a gift from God husbands and wives come and go well at least mines did but our children will always be ours!
Simply, your body your choice ❤️
Is this how he speaks to you? Or are you just voicing your worst fears? If this is how your relationship functions, full of blame and throwing decisions in each other’s faces, maybe the two of you should talk to a couples therapist that can help you both communicate with each other in a healthier way. Whether you keep the baby or not, it’s not fair for you to fear that kind of response when things get tough. Life is hard enough as it is.
Wow that’s so tough. So yea it’s your choice and it’s a couples choice-all while talking about getting pregnant. But honestly you guys should have discussed that before sex. Since you’re married it’s probably something you should decide together. Wait and think …both of you. You really need to be sure bc there’s no going back if you have an abortion. I recommend finding individual/couples counselors ASAP.
That’s incredibly hard….and this week with everything changing (if you’re in the US especially) an even harder thing to think about. Stressful times for many.
Yall need to sit with this longer. The emotions are all over the place. Babies are miracles. What a gift. A gift to you to, to your husband, to your son… this is a sibling. This baby will not take away the love for your son. This will add more love to your family. Maybe it’s just my perspective, but I see just positivity from your situation. I wish you peace. ♥️