Terrible twos 😖

We've hit the terrible twos this week! Everytime a boundary is put in place (I.e. we say no, have to get her dressed etc) it leads to a full blown meltdown! Screaming and foot stomping. Nothing calms her. Has anyone found anything that works? Or can offer any advice? I sit near her, sometimes saying calmly 'it's okay to be sad/angry' etc. But she tries pushing me away. If I give her more distance, that leads to a further meltdown. Any help appreciated xx

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Don’t give it too much attention, share your calm, carry on with the task and they will be fine as soon as they are dress etc.. if hitting I just say no we don’t hit and move away/ put her down, then when she wants me back arms outstretched (immediately) to continue I say are we going to do xyz nicely? She always says yes and stops. They understand much more than we think so I calmly explain everything as I’m going but without too much time spent on doing so “we have to get dressed because we need to get to music class” “we have to brush our teeth every morning” etc etc

I wouldn’t engage and say what you are saying they don’t care and don’t understand. We just sit there and ride it out or carry on doing what we were doing. Our 2.3 year old snaps out of it within minutes. He isn’t one to have regular full blown meltdowns though

I definitely know my little one understands and repetition of these things is key to faster understanding imo

Just ignoring the tantrum I’m finding is helping but it’s torture because they can last 20/30 minutes

It is healthy and important they go through big feelings and tantrums and boundary testing but they also need help through it. They are struggling with a feeling.. and at this age one they can’t even communicate properly. I personally would never just ignore them and let it go on and on, even if you scoop them up and cuddle them (despite protest) and rock and shh and walk about and then try again. They need to know feelings are ok and they are safe. I also think giving options is a great distraction that sometimes helps - would you like to go and choose some socks? Would you like to wear the coat or the snow suit? But yes they will still have meltdowns, just some things can make it easier for everyone because they are hugely testing! I have a 4yo too and I would never ignore him having a tantrum either, and I make sure to remain consistent for them both around how we manage our feelings (not squash them because they are healthy) and behaviours that are unsafe or not ok. It sticks!

No miraculous advice but fully relating 💜

I can relate to this too! X

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