Letting go of friendships

I have had a pretty traumatic year on top of just having a (second) baby and i feel like everyone i thought was a good friend has completely dropped off the face of the earth.

During good times they have been good friends but i feel like any hardships and i never hear from them. I feel like people dont know what to say to me because no one can relate to what i have been through but is that a good reason for not reaching out?

I think a lot of peoples relationships change when they have babies for lots of reasons and i personally believe you should be invested in your friends lives even if that means being interested in their kids. Even if youre not a kid person. I think thats just a terrible excuse for not making an effort as kids are such a divided topic among women, its an easy way out. I dont think my friends havent messaged just because i have kids btw but they dont have children. I do know that they see other friends kids and never make an effort with mine.

I feel like if i cut the friends out that i feel like have not been there for me then I will have no friends left and i have a small circle as it is. I am not a confrontational person and dont need any extra drama in my life due to some other things i am going through. If i just didnt say anything and didnt reach out to them at all im not sure i would hear from them again or not for a good while.

I guess i am just wondering what others would do in my situation? Would you just cut everyone out and have no friends during a time you really need support? Or keep being the only one making an effort in the hope that one day they will need my support and be grateful that i always stuck around?

in our community

Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.

I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

My relationship is failing I feel so alone.. I need a girlfriend to talk to :(

I'm a sahm and I feel so stuck... anyone going through the same thing? I could really use someone to relate to and talk through this with. Feeling so vulnerable but if I don't I won't be able to pull myself out of this

Going back to work!

Already thinking about this! Told my boss I was pregnant this week at 10 weeks, he was so happy for me. He’s recently became a first time Dad and was showing me pictures of his baby. I told him my plans about going back after 6 months and he looked at me like I was mad, am I!? I absolutely love my job and cannot imagine giving it up, I manage a team and am petrified my position won’t be there if I had a year off. My husband gets 6 months full pay so the plan would be for him to have the last 6 months off and I also made it clear to my boss that I would like to go part time. That way we can hopefully parent together 4/7 days rather than just the weekend! I am such an overthinking! 🤣 but this is what I’m struggling with the most, I’ve worked full time since I was 17 (12 years ago) and the max time I’ve had off in one go is 2 weeks when I got married. I’m sooo excited to be a Mum and we decided now was the right time, which it 100% is! But I feel so on edge about not working! I’m sure once I’m on maternity leave I won’t even think about work! Has anyone else felt the same?

Go to dinner ideas

Looking for recipes you use in your family that are not the traditional lasagna, shepards pie, ect

What are we giving our soon-to-be 3yo for their birthdays?

We have the magnetiles, we have the kinetic sand and play doh, we have the play kitchen…

Literally, is there anything left in the world to buy this spoilt kid? 😅

Baby groups?

Hello there!!
I hope you enjoying the 5month babies 🫠 the cuteness outweighs everything over here.
We live in the area of Croydon & need to start going to baby groups ( I NEED it more than him though) but I am a little bit clueless. Any recommendations?
We are happy to travel a bit too.
Thanks ☺️