Common childcare arrangements?
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Mum to my 18month old boy and step mum to 8 year old husbands daughter, have my step daughter every Tuesday, Thursday and every other weekend which is Friday- until Monday morning school drop off. I can’t believe he said that to you 😢 I’m so sorry I can’t understand why he wouldn’t want to spent him with his child xx
@Jess oh honestly it’s been a nightmare since day one. I haven’t wanted to be one of “them mums” to tell the dad where to go and have encouraged so much. But I really feel like telling him not to even bother if I have to force it 🤦🏽♀️
@Leigh this is exactly the arrangement that I thought if you don’t have your child every weekend. I’m drained 😂 thanks so much for answering lovely! Xx
@Jess thanks so much for answering lovely! Xx
It will unfortunately more than likely be only every other weekend and for the same reason, he wants to do the bare minimum because he has his life to live. It's difficult because you want to fight for them to be more involved for the child but if that's their attitude how are you supposed to trust them with your child? Sorry this is something you're going through, it's so difficult x
One weekend every other week is quite common. If not every weekend is also common for the NRP to have contact and that's what courts aim for
My son's father sees him for one weekend a month! I ended up going to the CMS and getting them to calculate maintenance properly because he was barely paying me anything and claiming poverty. Turns out he was earning far more than he admitted. Unfortunately, despite my attempts to get him to see him more, he won't. I have just accepted that this is the way it is!
@Alex that’s exactly it, you’ve put it perfectly! I guess my daughter will make up her own mind when she’s old enough, for now I’ve just got to make do with what I’ve been given 🤦🏽♀️ x
@Terri bless, I’m sorry you’re going through similar as well. It’s so draining isn’t it, to get them to actually pay what they’re *legally* supposed to ESPECIALLY if they’re not even seeing them for an adequate amount of time! Yeah I think I’m going to have to accept it as well x
My partner and I share a son together who is almost 4. I am 20 weeks pregnant and I have a step son who is 8. We have him one night in the week and every week Friday until Sunday evening. We pay Child Maintenance every month as we don’t have him 50% of the time however we all get on really well, it hasn’t been easy at times! So sorry you are going through this. Co-parenting isn’t for the faint hearted. As long as your babies are safe that’s what matters the most ❤️
@Rochelle I say, it's their loss! They are missing out on so much of their children's lives. I would like to say that my ex will regret it but he probably won't. Selfish is an understatement for him!
My son goes his dad every other weekend Friday - Sunday His dad opts to live a couple of towns away so that’s all that he can feasibly do My partner has his daughter every other weekend and half of all school holidays (did used to have 2/3rds of holidays but mum cut them back!) again not feasible to have more I think a lot of NRPs do every other weekend and maybe 1 night through the week! It also does tend to be what a lot of courts order when they’re involved But tbh sounds like he’s wanting the bare minimum to play the doting daddy when really he doesn’t want to even be involved
We’re still together but my partner wants to come to every nursery pick up he can even though he’d see him 10 minutes later. He can’t stand not seeing him for more than a day and I know if we ever split then only seeing him once every 2 weeks would be his worst nightmare. So sorry you and your child have to deal with this 🥺
I think you have said it all in that last sentence. He clearly doesn’t want to be as involved anymore. Devastatingly sad for the child. I’m sorry.