Full Rant

Sensitive( will include a bunch of cussing because I’m fed up) Okay so a quick backstory: my name is Tatianna and I’m a 27 year old mom of two. My daughter is 5 and my son is 4. My four year old is level 2 autistic and my 5 year old is 5 going on 25. I have a spouse, he is 45, retired army veteran and a full time stay at home dad while I work full time, advocate for my son, own a business and am getting my undergraduate degree. Yes I know I have a lot on my plate but I can do it. I work only on weekends when it comes to my business and my full time job is easy. Anyways so the roles use to be reversed, I was stay at home mom with two kids under 2 while he was still active duty and made sure dinner was always cooked, house was as spotless as I could make it, laundry done, kids taken care of, I did it all. I expressed when he retired that I wanted to pursue my cosmetology license and start working again because I’m a hustler that’s what I do. He agreed he would take over the role that I held so I could pursue my dreams. Okay fast forward to yesterday and the past like 2 months and that agreement has left the fucking building. I come home from work to a dirty house, laundry sitting on my couch waiting to be put away, kids running around doing whatever, dishes piling up, and his focus on a damn video game. I ask why things aren’t done and he says it’s too hard to take care of the kids and clean even though now both of my kids are in school and my son goes to therapy for 3 hours after he gets out of school. Yesterday was the nail in the coffin for me frfr. His ass left at 12 to hang out with some people he rides motorcycles with and I have no clue when he got back home. He stopped by once around like 4 to drop off some anti bacterial soap for me because I’m having surgery Monday and needed it to wash my body. When I asked for help because our son was over stimulated he told me just give him his cup, a snack and put him in his room and he left again. I called him around like 6 because at this point I’m ready to have a melt down my son is crying and screaming, my daughter is in the tub, I’m trying to clean up for dinner and I really needed help. He answered was like okay I’ll let them know I have to run home real quick and I’ll be back out. I was so pissed I was like “Fuck it I’ll figure it out, it’s always the bikers over your fucking family anyways”and I hung up. I called a friend to come over and she did without hesitation because I was shaking at this point. He comes home and we argue because I needed help and he disregarded my needs and our children. There were cuss words flying, I got the kids settled and in bed and I went to my room and he left again. I’m so tired of begging for him to be a father, like I’m ready to pack up all my shit and my kids things and leave because I’d rather be alone then keep putting up with this shit. Sorry if this rant is long