Sex after baby and marrage
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@Erin I feel bad about it too. Even when he puts his arm around me for a cuddle when in bed I just feel I want my own space.
That’s unfair to him. A relationship means putting in the effort and that means doing things that might not make you happy but will make them happy, it’s a compromise. Trust me, he needs it and if you won’t give it to him. Men will always find away they will go find it elsewhere…
Just talk to him. I think it’s totally normal to feel touched out and not want or even be repelled by physical touch/ intimacy when you have a young child. He is your husband though so just explain that. Probably won’t last forever and at some point you might need to make a little effort but right now if it’s not right it’s not right. And I totally disagree that if you don’t have sex your man will go find it elsewhere because men do know how to stay loyal and communication within the relationship really helps that.
@Faisa I have no worry at all that he would go find it elsewhere as we are farmers he works on the farm 12 hrs a day 7 days a week just now and summer months it's more like 18 hrs a day. He has no social life and would NEVER cheat on me. He knows that ive never been interested in sex, due to something that has happen to me a long time a go. He only wants to have sex if he knows I want it too
You're not going to be craving intimacy and bonding or even just physical sex when you're exhausted. If you weren't so tired, you'd consider his requests, right? Show him Maslows pyramid and explain where you are and which of your basic needs need to be met before you get to the sex part. If he can't take over some night feedings (it might be dangerous for him to do his job tired, and you too for that matter) then he may need to just wait a while. It won't last forever. I sort of suspect it's nature's way of keeping people from having kids too close together.... It really is a lot to have people urgently needing things from you all day so when you finally sit down to rest, you just want to rest. If you want to meet him halfway, consider scheduling days for sex in advance so you know before you get comfortable that you've got one more thing before your day is done. You can try to schedule a light day with baby for that time so you have a little gas left in the tank.
Get to the root cause of what’s making you not want sex anymore and have a heart to heart with your husband about how you are feeling…and you both can work on a solution together
@Bonny I'm currently doing absolutely everything as he's got an injury and going about on crutches for 10 weeks minimum. So I have to try help him on the farm, deal with our LO aswell as my own job working in a nursery spending all day needed by little children then get him to being needed more by my LO and husband. We are wanting to start trying for bany number 2 quite soon too. All the time we spent trying for our first it just felt like a chor.
@Yasmina we both know why im not interested in sex and why I never have been. I've had a lot of trauma growing up as a kid so that's the root of it. My husband also doesn't do talking
I had PPA after my 1st daughter & it affected my feelings for my husband. It went on for 3 years cuz I didn’t get help cuz it definitely can push a saint of a husband to think of other women…. Finally HE spoke up after my second daughter was born & he almost left me. We worked through it & I was starting to feel better but it’s a work in progress ever day & I have to make that effort & also have therapy
Yep. Except I’ve been married 11 years this year. Been with my husband for 20 years. It’s too much of a chore now that I am a mother. I just can’t be bothered
Yes! My baby is almost 5 months old and I feel like I should be wanting some intimacy with my partner by now. But, honestly, I’m having the hardest time with it. I just have absolutely no desire still and I feel so bad about it!