Do you speak for your nonverbal kid in public?
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@Monét thank you!! I agree the kids aren't being malicious, I am just always so worried about creating some sort of self fulfilling prophecy by saying "he's shy" or "he doesn't talk" but I feel I might be over thinking/worrying about this and explaining is best!
I normally talk to my kiddo and repeat whatever the other kid's asking. "Do you want to play?" "Can you say hi?" Depending on her mood that day, I might then respond for her/explain.
This may sound “wooy” but I’m careful about how I speak about and over my kids as I don’t want to put a label on them! When I was little I was told I was shy a lot when I actually wasn’t, I just needed a moment to get comfortable and then I’d talk as I wanted to but after being told I was shy so many times I felt like I was and it kinda stopped me from becoming more confident. There could be a million reasons why a child doesn’t talk out loud and it’s not wrong for other children to ask, how would the other parents know what to say? I’d say something like “he is saying ___(that he wants to play with blocks, that he needs a bit of alone time, that he’d prefer to go over there, etc” to help bridge the gap between your child’s body language and the other children’s questions. Then you can show your son that he is understood and also help him play with the other kids if that’s what he wants to do!
Could you say ‘he doesn’t feel like talking just now’ or ‘we’re just having some quiet time together’? I think it’s quite common for parents to speak for their kids at 3 if they’re feeling quiet or shy so wouldn’t say that was a bad thing. And it’s not labelling your son with anything in particular in the way that ‘he’s shy’ does. I think sometimes kids take on these labels as not just their feelings or behaviour but who they are.
I also don’t use the words shy to describe my child! I explain that he’s hesitant to speak to people he doesn’t know! (: & say something like but would love to get to know you through playing!
@Sorrel thank you! That's a great way to say that while also being careful not to label my son or put him in a box ❤️
Love this dudes explanation! https://www.instagram.com/reel/C9v2jKIiSMA/?igsh=dzB6ZXNoamQwYmx0
Another option could be to give your child a min to engage and depending he response you can say "it looks like they he doesn't want to play right now."
So my son isn't really talking yet. We were at a storytime and older toddlers were crowding around him. I didn't answer for him on anything, but when I was a bit further away but still in the room, I said to the other kids " give him some space please, he's not used to being around others " I didn't in any way talk negative about him ... Or anything
Yeah definitely talk for him. Parents need to advocate for their children. He won't feel talked over if he wasn't going to talk anyway, he will feel supported.
My daughter was preverbal until she started school. I’d normally say she has trouble with talking and would answer for her like her name. However she is very social so would want to play. Plus I would try and encourage it anyway especially as I have an older child with zero social skills.
They’re asking age appropriate questions. They’re curious, not malicious. Also he’s very very young, so I don’t think it’s wrong to say to the other children “he’s shy” or what you’ve already been saying.