In-laws 🫣

Cut her out for a bit. It sounds like you need some space x

@Leah I honestly wish it was that simple😔 how do I go about cutting her out, what do I say to my partner? I don’t want to upset him as it’s his mam. This is my first baby, and I just feel so lost. She’s making me feel like I’m doing everything wrong… I mean she’s went out and bought a pram already… I’m grateful but I wanted to pram shop. She just makes decisions without talking to me about them. It’s getting me down x

I'm so sorry this is happening to you hun. Take a day to clear your head. Take yourself on a lil date, you and bump, and try to relax a bit. Once you've taken a breath, it might be easier to sort through your thoughts. If she is as bad as you say, talking probably won't work. All you can do is show yourself as strong. If she tries to kiss the baby, she doesn't get to hold the baby. If she didn't consult you on the pram, then that can stay at hers for her use then. It's easier said than done, I know. And you'll probably never see eye to eye. So all you can do is protect yourself, however you need to do that.

I wouldn’t use her pram. She can’t take this things away from you. It’s your baby and you get to enjoy these things. I think you may need to be firm and set boundaries. Ignore anything she says about how you’re going to be a mum. And inform her that if she doesn’t respect your wishes then she won’t be able to hold the baby. This is the time to be strong and fight for what you want for you and your family. It’s tricky to navigate these relationships. Maybe if you wrote down how she makes you feel in a letter and take some time away from her.

@Sidonie thank you for this, that’s really helped. I’ve just had a little pamper session. Cried none stop for 3 hours eyes are sore sore. Just don’t understand how someone could be like this towards me. It’s my first baby and I just want to enjoy it xx

@Emily thank you for this, it’s honestly so hard. I just wish things were different. It’s my first baby, and I thought things would have been better. I mean her reaction wasn’t all that good. Just proves it there doesn’t it xx

I know you don’t want to but talk to your partner. I’ve gone minimal contact with my in laws because they have done all of the above and worse. They are narcissists and eventually it was affecting my physical health. It took me over 4 years to get to the limited contact point. I have refused to see them since June 2024 and my partner understands why I reached this decision. I have them muted and archived on WhatsApp so I dont get anxiety when they msg. I see it when I’m in the app and respond when I am ready. When they ask to see our daughter my partner takes her over - this is very infrequent so I’m ok with this. All I can say is speak to your partner about how this is making you feel. Speak to him about the boundaries you would like and to be honest he should be the one telling his mom she’s gone too far! I really hope this works out for you. You should be happy crying not balling your eyes out during this precious time!

@Angela thank you so much. I love my partner to bits but sometimes he can’t tell his mam. He’s a mammys boy, like really bad. He did tell her that she has to respect our rules about no kissing baby when it’s born. But today, he took her side and it’s upset me a little. May I message you? Xx

Oh sweet iv never felt so similar! My mother in law is the exact same and I'm currently living with her until we get our own place. She's always got an opinion about everything I say, simple things like I want a moses basket and she's just straight up no that's wrong I don't agree. I'm like I didn't ask for your opinion, shes one of those who's like oh don't do this, don't do that and always hating on the way other people parent and mother their children. I'm in the boat of biting my tongue but the more hormonal I get them more I don't think I will be able to. Honest I'm sorry this is more like just a rant, quite funny that she's been pissing me off tonight and this chat popped up.

@Bethany am I okay to message you? I’m always up for a rant. Just need to let it all out and you can vent too girl. Xx

Of course! Xx