I hold so much hate inside me - am I wrong??
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I'd get her a card but I wouldn't go. Especially if the toxic family member is going to be there.
@Heather even if she didn’t get my baby one for his first birthday :( xxx
This could be her last big birthday. I’d try and just put the hurt aside and be the bigger person. It could be an opportunity to mend bridges. How do the rest of the family manage your toxic cousin? Your baby wouldn’t remember if she came to the 1st birthday or not so I’d just focus on your relationship
Would you like my brutally honest opinion (let's start there)
Dude... She's 90. That's a big deal. Maybe I'm wrong but just avoid the cousin and keep peace. She's 90! My grandma is turning 90 this year too and I don't know how many more birthdays she has left.
@Cher 🧖🏾♀️🏋🏿♀️🎧 please x
@Rachelle this is what hurt me the most that she didn’t make the effort for my boy knowing this….. she’ll never be able to come to his first birthday :( because it’s been and gone…. All because of my horrible family member x
@Kathryn most of my family have stopped speaking to My grandma because she puts our toxic cousin first and she’s done some pretty awful things to people. Xx
It isn’t worth holding on to this anger, especially with a woman so old 🥺 You never know how many birthdays that she has left (as horrible as that sounds) and you said you’ve always been close, you don’t want to lose that when you may not have long left with her. I would just have a conversation with her. Try and sort it out with her. However, if you are not going to be able to get passed this, DO NOT go to the party if there is a risk that you will have some sort of outburst and ruin a big day for her ❤️
I agree with you... but I would still go. I had a really close relationship with my great grandma and would see her weekly. She lived till she was 95 and I miss her every single day. She would have been 100 in 2024... My grandpa also just died. He was 93 and had a fall and hit his head. He was gone a month later. The decline was so rapid. I would let it go, because she won't be around forever. You don't want to have to live with regrets.
The thing is once you start cutting off toxic family, other family will protest the distance you’re creating as a way to control the situation. She protested by not going to your family events because she doesn’t support what you’re doing. To her, you’re disrupting the family dynamic, when in reality you’re just creating a healthy one for your child. Cycle breaking. I’ve been in your same position. The hate inside of you will go away!! Eventually you’ll just feel sorry for all of them. You will start to thrive away from all that family dynamic. Sometimes you wind up leaving behind people you love so you can do the right thing by your family unit (which is you, your children, and partner). I personally wouldn’t go. It’ll create opportunity for negativity. Don’t let fear of death control your choice. That’s my opinion but obviously do what you think is best for you.
It’s like I hold a hate inside me, like why would she have done that to my baby after how close we was. My other cousin (toxic one) just uses her for money etc and I’ve never even done that. I’ve always treated My grandma with respect