worried about traumatizing my baby
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Ima guess & say The fear never really goes away. Even when you really get it under control. The fear is kinda always there. But it’s important to have your tool belt full ! And for those around you to be aware of how far you’ve come. 🫶🏼🫂 I have my moments and definitely still have work to do, but I know I’m trying my hardest to be the best version of me there is. we’re 2 years in, and I’d like to believe I’m doing a great job at creating a secure attachment style & a home full of love with emotional intelligence being a high priority. A parenting style that resonates a lot with me is “conscious parenting” & it’s a helpful rough guide to look to!
I don’t have BPD but I do have a lot of unstable emotions. So, I def understand what you mean! I have been going to a therapist too to try to mitigate the situation and try to be a better person overall. I do believe that I have changed some but not to the degree I want. I’m worried about the same thing though. It is so hard to keep it together and try to give your kid a happy home. I want it so bad it just makes me mad I am not in that stage. Hopefully with more therapy we will get better 🩷
I definitely had some episodes of bpd from postpartum. I just made sure my daughter wasn’t in the room. (But I feel them coming on) I had a lot of time learning to deal with my emotions and how to not let them control me.
I have bipolar disorder and bpd and I'm terrified of it, I have a 4 week old an I can safely say my mama instincts take over when I feel overwhelmed or start to feel like I'm about to have an episode and I have so much more control than I've ever had bc of the determination to never have an outburst or episode in front of him. I'd have 2-3 episodes every week while pregnant and haven't had any so far, yes I've cried, alot. But it's never gotten out of hand and I've never had the absolute rage I used to have. Lean into your mama instincts and let yourself feel your emotions an never bottle them up to the point that they just explode. If it ever feels to much or like you're about to have an outburst it is 100% PERFECTLY OKAY to set your baby down in their bassinet, and go take a sec for yourself to get yourself under control, either way you got this mama! You're stronger than you know ♡
I don't have BPD, but I have depression and anxiety. It's a daily struggle, and some days are really good. Others are SO hard. Some things that help me; 1. Being outside. 2. Going out or on adventures. 3. Asking for help. 4. Taking my medication. 5. Seeing my therapist. 6. Snuggling may little boy. 7. Hearing him say "aww thanks mummy" when he asks for a cuddle and I oblige. 8. Seeing him smile. 9. Hanging out with friends with and without my son. 10. Self care (luxurious shower or bath, hair cut, nails done, face mask, massage, etc) You are already an amazing mumma. It's not just about not having outbursts or trying to stop depressive episodes or battle through either, it's about acknowledging the struggle and continuely to work on bettering ourselves. Just make sure that should anything happen, you snuggle that baby, apologise, and take accountability and responsibility. It goes a long, long way. You have got this mumma and you are not alone!
I completely understand where you're coming from and I wish I would have got my BPD in check before I had my son. When I'm in an episode I literally just have to love on him and cuddle him. I'm starting meds and I am working on getting a therapist
I have the same fear with my panic and anxiety disorder. I’m so sorry you feel this way!! ♥️ it’s definitely really hard but please don’t ever feel shame. You being worried about it and trying to get better for your baby shows how great of a mom you are. Therapy is the best thing you can do for yourself and I can promise you that you will be okay. My panic attacks come randomly and instead of being terrified of having another one, I just accept I will have episodes and that I will be okay. This made my panic attacks come less frequently. If you ever do have an episode know it’s okay to step away!! You will teach your child your strength and perseverance, so please PLEASE don’t be hard on yourself!
I dont have the same condition but i deff had a lot of fears. Especially postpartum. I talked with my therapist regularly and then i combatted my fears with practical solutions. I had this overwhelming home security fear so i installed outdoor cameras, motion sensor lights, gates. I found ways to ease my fears through that. After about 6 months the fears disappated a lot! You can do this mama!! Good luck!!