Mom is depressed. What should I do?

I’ll add that she lives alone & doesn’t have other friends nearby

I wouldn't give her opportunity to say no. I would just do it. Get groceries, make her dinner, and just go visit her. When you're in depression, you don't have energy for socialization but it does the soul good. 🩷

Just roll up with groceries and a meal made, say your dropping it off but you’d be more than willing to stick around and keep her company if she wanted

@Tosha Is it inappropriate to do something like that after she’s already said no? I’m worried about overstepping boundaries. She said she doesn’t want to be around the kids right now & I have a young EBF baby that I can’t be away from

@Parker 又 That’s a good idea. I dropped off one of her favorite snacks the other day but I didn’t stay. I just dropped it off & rang the bell bc she rejected my offers to visit

My mom goes through something similar to this. I just pop in randomly or sometimes just FaceTime if I can’t get myself together to get out of the house 😅 even though she claims she doesn’t want the company, she’s ALWAYS in a slightly better mood when she sees my son.

Sometimes our brains trick us into thinking we don’t deserve the things we know we need. I don’t think it’s over stepping if you are doing it out of genuine intent, especially when it’s your mom, and you now are a mom, it’s hard to ignore.

@Samantha Do you offer support or do you just show up? She’s explicitly said she doesn’t want to see my toddler 🙁

Another idea is actually an uno reserve of what my mom used to do for me. She used to get me to leave the house and go to civilization, we’d go to like target just to walk around and then we’d swing by a fast food spot n then just go home.

@Parker 又 Yeah, that’s definitely true. She’s struggled my whole life & I’ve often been put in a care taking role with her. It’s just harder to do now that I’m caring for my children

I just show up. If I notice her trash can needs brought back to the house, packages brought in, dishes need done or something else I just pass her my son and get busy. She’ll sometimes gripe about me at first or say I’m so bossy but she usually thanks me by the time we leave so I know she’s grateful deep down

Which it’s not your responsibility!! But if you feel like it’s something your gut says you should do even with her refusal, and it’s genuinely like just cause you know it could help & you have the time, then I don’t think dropping by to drop stuff off is over stepping! But if it would be you going very out of your way, then like she said no so she can’t get mad that you didn’t ? Lmdao

@Parker 又 this is a GREAT suggestion! I forgot to mention that one

F

You know I just had to say as a daughter you wouldn’t be overstepping boundaries I think it’d be getting and executing a plan that requires more on your part that it would hard to turn down by your mother. It’s the little things and effort that make a world difference and I believe seeing your presence around and the help is a good affirmation that she has a kindhearted caring daughter may be stubborn since she wasn’t fully with it or wanting you to go through that for her but showing you do anything is love; understanding when she’s down and doing something I think that’s a blessing if I wouldn’t get to have my own say so..