I need help!

i’d explore the possibility of this being ARFID with her doctor/dietitian. it can look like very picky eating in toddlers

https://www.tiktok.com/@myarfidlife?_t=ZP-8tVTYwXBrv5&_r=1 this little girl in tiktok is great. treatment is typically food therapies

@Laiken Thank you, i have been thinking about this over the past couple weeks as she’s started to gip and occasionally be sick from gipping when eating her food which i know can also be a symptom on arfid, the only reason i have never suggested it is because i mentioned this to a family member and they told me it’s unlikely since she’s not autistic/adha which is what it mostly is associated with

it’s true that adhd/autism and arfid commonly occur together, but it doesn’t always have to!! just a common comorbidity

@Laiken Is this something you think i should mention to the dietician then? xx

Could be arfid, but also this is not an uncommon behaviour in toddlers. They like to push boundaries and are often too busy to sit down and eat. They might avoid foods we consider to be "healthy" in favour of more palatable foods (often unhealthy). It can be a phase, but it also can mask other issues so I agree with the above, work with the doctor and dietician to determine if there is a reason, whether it's sensory, behavioral, etc. Personally I think we need to abolish the concept of "picky eating" - it carries a level of blame on both the parent and child, like the parent isn't doing enough or the child is doing it on purpose. You are not to blame. Your daughter is not to blame. Just try to keep meal times fun, and low pressure - trying to push her into eating more, or bargaining, may exacerbate the issue. The main thing is to let her feel in control, and safe to choose whether or not to eat what you offer her - kids who feel "safe" at the dinner table are more likely to be open to exploring new foods.

FYI - I knew a toddler who ate nothing but peanut butter sandwiches who is now an executive chef. 😊 It is in no way reflective of their future palate or food preferences.

@Jodi🤍 i definitely would at least bring it up to them, yes! they may have some more ideas for you too!

@Laiken Thank you! She was seen late last year and they wanted us back 6 months later so i’ll mention it when we go xx

@Melissa Thank you! I try my best to get us all to eat at the same time and try keep them as stress free as possible, there’s been a few time people have told me to force feed and it’s just something i refuse to eat, if she doesn’t want to eat i try encourage but never force and if she’s adamant she doesn’t want any or anymore of what she’s had then it gets left at that and we try something else later on! But this is with any good, she was offered a chocolate bar about 11.30 and she only ate half and said she couldn’t eat anymore, so it’s not just “unhealthy” things it’s with everything, obviously automatically a child is more drawn to the sweet stuff which is why it’s never offered often as i don’t want her to get used to eating the sweet stuff over something that is needed but it gets offered if she’s at least tried her meal whether it be 1 chip or a tiny piece of chicken, she loves baking and i’ve tried to get her to cook with me and pick her one meals and it still never works!

@Melissa i feel at such a loss honestly, we have been fighting this losing battle for almost 2 years and i feel drained and exhausted! She used eat everything! Still was offered the exact same things, we didn’t change anything but she did and it’s just so difficult! But whenever it mention it i alway get told it’s an age thing which i understand of course but for 2years? Surely something should start to improve!?!

You said you let her cook with you, do you also let her pick out foods at the grocery store? I'm not saying let her load the basket with candy and chips, but for example, picking out a type of cheese or what kind of fruit she would like for the week. My brother always had to pick out his own food when he was little; as long as he chose it, it didn't matter what it was, he would eat it, but he would not touch anything he hadn't picked out himself.

@Jodi🤍 girl, I know this probably isn't what you need to hear but I have seen this story so many times. 😂😂 People say it's normal and it is. It's a phase. Like, yeah, there may be some physiological or genetic issue but more likely, she'll grow out of it, especially if it came on seemingly out of nowhere! If she was a good eater as a baby, you're likely not looking at something genetic, or there would have been earlier signs. She's just being a toddler and yes, it can go on for years. I'm sorry. 😆😆 But please take heart in that it is nothing you are doing wrong. From what I can see you are doing it all right. She will come around again. Toddlers and young kids live on all kinds of weird diets. I see so many moms on here all smug that their 9 month old will eat anything, only to eat crow 2 years later when they're negotiating their 3 year old into at least two more goldfish crackers. 🤣🤣

@Melissa Don’t worry i’m not scared of blunt truths and i appreciate you saying that! I just thought we would see at least some improvement! It’s so stressful at times because i’ll give her food i know she likes but she just refuses! Tbh i have a lot more patience then what i thought with it all though ahah, my son was completely different to my daughter, he preferred milk over food and has been so awkward to feed but he’s getting there, won’t have anything wet but still eats his dry foods like chips/fish fingers ect! But my daughter is getting worse🤦🏼‍♀️definitely didn’t inherit their dads love for food ahah, i just hope it gets better, just don’t want her losing anything nutrients she needs! xx

@Jodi🤍 I'll let you in on a secret (I have a degree in nutritional science, btw, so you can take this to heart): toddlers can live on just about anything. Kids can live on anything. You could give her zero veggies at all, and she would be just fine, it wouldn't harm her development, and she won't lose out on nutrition. I know. It's hard to believe, but there's a reason we don't see scurvy or marasmus or other serious nutritional deficiencies in first world countries. We have shakes and smoothies and multivitamins you can give a food restrictive child. As long as she has plenty of opportunities to eat, she will be fiiiiine! Just keep doing as you're doing, keep offering foods, keep it light, and let her control when and how much of it to eat. We're past the age of "eat your vegetables" - it's far more important for her to feel safe and in control at the dinner table, which will help form a positive lifelong relationship with food, no matter what her future preferences turn out to be!

@Melissa Thank you, i appreciate your advice, im definitely going to mention Arfids to the dietitian but more looks like i’ll probably have to ride it out xx

Ask your GP to refer you to local speech therapy team, if they don’t provide a service for aversive feeding and you want to go private I would look up SOS approach to feeding and find a practitioner there. If there non locally reach out to others in different areas as online support can be just as effective ☺️ While you wait do some food play with her at a time away from mealtimes!

@Savannah Can a speech therapist help with food? Her speech is perfect! I thought they were only for baby’s that had delayed speech? I do try do food play but she hates the feel of it, we did coloured spaghetti and she hated it, i’ve crashed weetabix up and made like a dinosaur “sand” play and she hated it getting stuck between her hands, i just don’t want to push her to much in to making her uncomfortable xx

Yes, a little confusing but speech therapists are specialists in feeding difficulties (as anatomy as speech) I’ve done a few blog posts on food play which may be helpful https://www.learntofeed.com/post/10-top-tips-for-food-play