Yah it’s mine but I can’t or I will lose my deposit on my venue and lose even more money
Do you have a support system? People who can help you out and relieve some stress? This is really difficult what you're going through. Just take it a day at a time and you'll find your groove.
Is the wedding yours? Can you postpone it? I didn't feel like I had any kind of handle on things until my baby was 6 months. The first 6 months is hell though, and I don't know if there's a way to make it better. Hoping someone else might respond with the answer so I can put it into practice when I have my next one.