Should we check her?
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Oh no, this actually sounds like unhinged behaviour tbh. How does she think any of that is appropriate? Especially number 1, 'running away' from you and husband with baby crying, no. Does she think she's making a joke and lightening the mood or something? Even if she does it needs to be addressed. Im sorry you have to put up with this shit but I'd definitely talk to partner, get on the same page then sit and talk to MIL.
She’d be nowhere near my kid I can’t lie that is absolute lunacy
Definitely address it. I’m under the opinion “your parent, your talk”. Your partner should be the one saying something. In my case, my MIL listens more to what I have to say as I think she would be scared I’d influence my husband into not seeing her (we’d never do that but they have a rocky relationship). Speak to your partner and get his take on it: it’s important to be on the same page. Have him chat with MIL.
Oh I would have spoken to her after the first time running off with my child. Her behavior is absolutely not okay and definitely needs to be addressed.
You need to set your boundaries NOW! your baby, your rules! I had similar issues with my mil,she would get my daughters hands and put her fingers into her mouth. I was so angry as she knew i had a very strict no kissing rule because of germs. I asked her not to do it and she was like "oh it's a sensory thing it's good for them" when she did it a second time I pulled out hygiene wipes and wiped my baby's hands in front of her. I then spoke to her just me and her and made it clear she couldn't do anything she liked because she's ""granny"" I don't understand how thick adults are regarding hygiene and baby's! Baffles me! Next time your baby is crying for you, go over, call your mils name, and shout STOP and take baby. She needs putting in her place and don't worry about her feelings because she clearly doesn't care about yours.
@Elsie yasss this!!
100 percent talk with her. That is unhinged to run away with a distressed child and not let you guys comfort him first. Now if you guys were in another room and something happened and she saw it first therefore was the person to be closest to be able to comfort him... But that's entirely different
And literally licking things and making kid sick and you sick too???? Um omg yes definitely talk to her
@Elizabeth Yes that’s understable but when we are around she shouldn’t come in between us and snatch him away from us.
She’s a very dominating person and wants to control everything. Running away- is her way of trying to distract him 😭 Once my husband accidentally stepped on my baby’s hand when he was crawling. My impression in everyone’s mind in such situations is I panic and make a scene but this time I was very calm. I was offering him water and asked my husband to put his hand under tap water. Again she was snatching him away from my husband and she started shouting at me that I create a scene all the time.
I have told my husband multiple times that we don’t need her in the house and she has disrespected me, my parents and even cursed my unborn child a few days back. I don’t want her around my children but the thing is we don’t have any help-family in the country and we need someone to be with my firstborn when I deliver and moreover we are moving after a month. I’m so sick and tired of her.
She controls how much he’s going to eat, when and what he’s going to eat. When he’ll take a bath, when he’ll sleep. She never introduces the word “mama” to him, always “papa” and “grandma”. The sounds I make while playing with the toys, for example- “zooo” for a car, or “pop” for something else, she will do the opposite and introduce something else.
@Elsie she does the same. Puts his fingers in her mouth. When I address such issues, she does them more and especially behind our back. My father-in-law checks her but she straightaway scolds him to not interfere Her reasoning is- I’m making him very delicate and his immune system needs to be strong if he plays around with dirty stuff.
Set ground rules You've got no other care or help? Okay. Tell her what she can and cannot do. It sounds terrible but you are still mom.
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Sit down with your husband and establish what those ground rules will be for her
You are not making him delicate. His immune system will be built on its own literally by his very existence in the world!!
And getting you sick while pregnant risks your unborn child having birth defects, schizophrenia in later life.... Etcetera.
She wants him to play with dirty stuff? Okay he can play with things outside and then learn how to wash his hands under the sink so that he doesn't eat any of the dirt that gets under his fingernails
Oh, my days, in all honesty. I'd cut contact! Is your husband on your side with everything or hers? I get it's difficult when your partner is up his mummy's bum (like mine was/is) Your baby doesn't need purposely put germs near him. There's enough around without that! Honestly, I had this with my inlaws, and it makes my blood boil!!!!!
Yes, kids need germ exposure.... And the obsession with clean all the things has created problems..... But her approach to purposefully making him sick definitely is not the right approach either
Side note on the cold.... Sit in your smallest bathroom with the shower running hot and the room steamed up. The steam room will help you and your little buddy both feel better. Steam helps thin out big and little mucous membranes ( noses and throats)
@Elsie sometimes he’s on my side but doesn’t shut her up or checks her infront me. When they’re alone he addresses the issue politely. same same! Makes my blood boil and then I start fighting with my husband, then she blames me for shouting at him and comes in between us. 😭
@Elizabeth will try to setup some rules. But she doesn’t listen. She will do the same thing behind our backs. Hopefully she listens this time. Thank you for all the advice. I usually switch on the shower so that we have steam in the washroom while we give him a bath.
We like to do steam showers a lot ( we actually have liked doing that before little buddy came along
Hubby's currently dealing with the cold from hell... Still... So he's been sleeping in the smallezt bathroom in the house since Wednesday of the week before this past one
( we're in a house two big for the 2.5 people that we have )
Licking the toy is crazy 😭
@Jody I know!!! 😭 She did it in front of my husband. (He’s a very absent minded person in general so he didn’t notice) 🤦🏻♀️
Eww! My MIL did that lick baby’s finger thing and I told my husband NO! We offended her and she came around less. Haha I call it a win
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@Julia I wish she came around less. The thing is she stays with us for a few months in a year and things become awkward. Especially because my husband is gone the whole day and I have to be with her alone
yes. address it. set boundaries. pull out all the stops.
Oh god, definitely address this with her!!! I would be absolutely fuming definitely if she runs off with your baby when he cries and the whole licking his toys? Who even does that? These mil of 2023-2025 babies are absolutely savage and need stopping! You’re mum, you know best and if she can’t agree with that then she can’t play with her grandkid. End of!