Tantrum stage- who’s in it

My second baby is really showing me why people call it the terrible 2s 😭😭😭

My son has had them down since he was one it seems to got worse so I did this And it helped. I put him in time out. Now I like to note we use his crib still. I put him in and I use my Alexa and have a setting set to turn his room light dim blue and have a count down for two mins for being two. After his time out done I walk in ask if he ready to talk/ work it out and if he not I want out and restart the clock. I know it sounds harsh but I have talked to dr and teachers and they all agree if he safe that’s all the matters. Plus side note he on the low low spectrum. But normally after the second time he better and we talk and back to playing hope that’s helps.

What seems to work, most of the time, with mine is telling her to take a deep breath and then doing it with her or we count to 10 together. If those don't work then I'm usually standing by her feeding my other baby (most tantrums have been during meals) while she cries and I also talk to her and try to figure out what she wants or why she can't do something after a bit she'll calm down