Toddler hitting and biting

I feel you honestly. I have 2 year old twin daughters they fight like hell. They pull hair and hit and bite and scream consistently if I tell the child minders or my mum they both say they're good as gold when with them but for me it's the opposite I don't know whether I'm coming or going some days! I really hope it is a phase but so far this phase has been going on for months. Terrible twos is really something!

Same my toddler only hits and bites me and it’s really frustrating as nobody believes me

My daughter turned 2 about a week ago and she’s the exact same for me , I think mine does it out of frustration and tiredness most of the time because she can’t fully communicate yet xx

I get headbutted too. I’ve been told to put him down, tell him no and not to do that. Leave him for a minute if it’s from anger. Then I’ll try a cuddle x

I’m losing my mind, he asks for something - gets it - is fuming as it’s wrong. Basically that cycle all day until bedtime 🙃 xx

I’ve found the best thing to do is to find something for them to hit/ bite. It’s very much a sensory need for them as well as an emotional need, I tell my daughter I can’t let her hit me, however we can hit the pillow, and I get a pillow and she hits that instead. Basically the same with biting, mango seeds are usually the favourite for this! Xx

I used to work as a behaviour therapist. Every behaviour is motivated due to one of the following four: escape (wanting to avoid a demand, task, environment), attention, tangibles (they want something - a toy, etc) or its sensory. Id say start writing down a note when you see him biting of what happened before and then you can determine what the motivation is, this will change your strategy. For example if it’s due to him wanting attention before he bites you could teach him to say mum or brother come play or set timers and spend one on one time every so often or praise positive actions. If it’s sensory you may want a chew necklace (supervised), if it’s escape maybe teaching to say ‘I want a break’ etc. biting is so tough, good luck!

Ours was realllly bad but we’ve fixed it! I think part is him now going to a better nursery, but also we started the BratBuster technique - if he does something bad you only give one warning (no yelling, zero emotion, just provide a reason and say the consequence if he does it again, key is only say it one time before taking action). If he does it again the consequence happens. So for example, uh oh you bit mummy that’s not nice and it hurts ouch, if you do it again train will go away. He bites again - ok train is going away now and put it out of reach or in another room. Goes against some research that the consequence is unrelated to the action but it has worked wonders for us

@Ceri I am absolutely going to try using a pillow as a thing to hit great idea!!

@Natalie thank you so much for your response it makes a lot of sense. Most of the time it’s definitely the ‘escape’ like from being asked to do something or stop something. However sometimes he does it randomly and just laughs so I’m not sure what this one is!! He has a 3 month old sister and I definitely think it’s linked to that because he misses having all of his mummy. I’m hoping when she can sit/ be a bit more independent we start seeing improvement xx

@Allie I’ll deffo give it a go! However I know once I remove the item he will turn into a little screaming demon 😂 xx