SD issues

So I very much dislike my SD. A bit of background of I have 2 step children 1 boy (4) and 1 girl (7) (both have different mums from my husbands previous relationships) have an amazing co-parenting relationship with my SS mum we all attend birthday parties sports days parent teachers together and always get invited to family events from both us and them. However have a terrible co-parenting relationship with my SD mum, she never communicates with us no matter how hard we try (texting her her family her husband ect) unless it suits her (asking me to have my SD all weekend as she knows I’m on maternity leave and my husband works) she refuses to talk to me at all even in person since I had my own daughter, because of this I feel my SD sees the lack of respect her mother shows me so doesn’t show me any either. She doesn’t listen to me at ALL. We have both children multiple nights a week every week without fail! Since having my daughter it has become so much worse. She tries to be the centre of attention all the time causing a scene everywhere we go by just being overly loud and shouting over everyone when they are trying to talk. I get so angry with her and just hate having her around my daughter as she doesn’t listen or respect my wishes. She attempts to pick up my 5 month old off the floor no matter how many times I have asked her not to, always takes away my daughter’s toys that she is playing with, and the big one is that she continues to put her hands in my daughters mouth even though I have reiterated so many times to not to do this as she NEVER washes her hands without asking. I can’t speak to friends or family on the phone ever when she around as she constantly is shouting over what I am saying so I give up in the end. She never says please or thank you and expects toys at every shop. She’s so ungrateful when she does get something. I hate having her around. I dread that days that we have her overnight. I hate looking after her I just don’t know what to do. I have her around for my husband I would never not have her around but I don’t love her. I don’t know what the point of this post is but I needed to get it off my chest as I’m just at my whits end. I don’t like her around my daughter and I feel so sad that I feel this way as it’s her sister and she’s loves her but I don’t want my daughter to get her traits. I just don’t know what to do anymore.