Am I being too overprotective?

I would just lean into it and say "of course I'm overprotective, I'm a first time mum and you'll just have to humour me". It's completely normal for you to want to protect your baby and if they choose to get annoyed or not is their problem, not yours For me, I'd wait until after the 16 week vaccinations and then go. I'd still say no kissing baby, but cuddles are allowed. It's completely up to you what you're comfortable with though, and they don't have to like your decision but they should respect it

Not being overprotective, I take all precautions I can to make sure my baby doesn’t get ill. With the care home though, would it be possible to ring first to make sure your nan isn’t ill and they don’t currently have any virus outbreaks where she is? My partner’s grandma was in a care home and we never picked anything up there - we made sure to stay in her room with baby so he didn’t come into contact with any other residents, sanitise / wash hands when arriving and leaving etc, and we do the same rule as you with kissing - parents only.

I feel you, same here. I keep being. Now he is close to 4 months I am being a bit (just a bit) more relaxed, but still no kissing, no touching hand, don’t come if you are ill. Don’t let everyone take him.

@Emma 🌱 Thank you for your advice 😊 I feel like I always have to justify my decisions when I shouldn’t have to 😅

@Rosie Thank you for comment, that’s really reassuring! This is exactly what my partner and I have discussed and we think this is the compromise that we both feel comfortable with. My nan won’t be able to hold him anyway as she is not strong enough to but it’s important to me that she meets him x

@Roberta Thank you 😊I just find it all overwhelming - I know he’s not a newborn anymore but he’s still a baby. If we end up going then only myself or my partner will be holding him anyway x

I don’t think you’re being overprotective at all in any of the situations you’ve mentioned, but at the same time, I would still take them to see your Nan. Maybe use a carrier so only you can hold the baby? I think it also depends on what stage of dementia your nan is at. My grandma has dementia and my mum is a full time carer for her, but hers isn’t terrible yet. If, however, she was at a stage where she didn’t know who we were, for example, I don’t think I’d take my baby to a care home to see her.

Just to add, this is my second baby and I’m still just as cautious this time round! Following the relevant guidance isn’t overprotective, it’s making sure your little one is as safe as can be❤️

That not even being overprotective, that’s common sense. If you asked every mother in the world then I think the majority would have those rules in place. If anyone comments on it I’d be telling them to piss off. Even as an adult I don’t like to be around vaping/ smoking and people who are poorly and I don’t kiss anyone except my kids and husband so why should it be different for babies 🙈

@Abi Thank you 😊 She has moments of clarity and loves being shown pictures of him so I think she would love the visit. My partner and I would be the only ones holding him x

@Chloé Collier The problem is that we’re getting comments made by older people who had their babies years and years ago when the guidance was very different. I’ve gone blue in the face before to explain all of this 😅 We’re fortunate that the people around us respect our boundaries, even if they don’t agree with them, but I’m getting exhausted with defending myself 😂

I did the same when my son was born in October I told my bd his parents has to wait two months to see the baby bc I don’t want him to get sick your his mom no one else is you set the rules tbh everyone is going to judge regardless of what you do as a mom and I’m also a first time mom and what ever I say goes I’m not being dramatic I’m doing what I think is best for my kid it is hard bc I hate confrontation too but other people didn’t carry him, birth him and went through body changes so you got this mama go with your gut of how your feeling

@Jalissa Thank you! 😊 It’s so comforting to know I’m not the only one - I was scared I was being irrational 😅x

No you’re not at all, it’s your child we took forever to create and birth them and our bodies change and the only thing relatives want to see is the baby not the mother who did all the hard work for the baby to be here in the first place trust and believe you better stand your ground bc I was a people pleaser once I had my son I wasn’t doing that shit