How do you survive?!

I'm a sahm with an almost one and a half year old, a dog and a tiny house where my husband wfh. We want to kill one another because we're packed like sardines. I do also have a lot of trauma and some mental health issues that I am working hard on but boy is it a slog. How do you ladies do it? I am happy at times or even just content but the lows have become so, so much lower since I gave birth. I feel overwhelmed af and worn out, then I beat myself up for being behind on everything. I have no social life, only one hobby that I hardly have time for and it's not like I take care of my health at all. Summers have been easier but the winters chew me up and spit me out. So I'm looking for coping skills and encouragement/inspiration! I know on some level I will always struggle because of my mental health but I'd like to not constantly feel like a bad wife and mother. And less overwhelmed and more productive day to day. How are we surviving as 40+ year old moms these days?!

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Were you working before you had your child? I ask because that would be a big transition for sure!

I think the most effective is to adjust your expectations about what means to be a good mum and a good wife/partner. I have a 5 month old, a dog, a partner that works from home part of the week and the rest of the time is a pro in creating mess 🤦🤦 I'm still annoyed with his messiness but since I got cleaners in, I have a good reason to be on his back to tidy up once a week. The rest I kind of got used to doing way less housework and living with it because I decided that spending quality time with my little one is crucial, and getting out to baby classes and coffees will keep me sane. The rest will wait. I also let my partner be responsible for prepping dinner more often - he can't really cook but he usually pulls something together that's edible. Not ideal and would love a good hearty home cooked meal, but I'll get to it when bubba is older.

With therapy, meds, and a spouse that I know shares my values on the big stuff. Remembering that what people share on social media is usually a carefully curated version of their lives and everyone has their insecurities. Also, I felt really isolated around that year & a half postpartum phase too I think. If you aren't having luck with meeting anyone in person here, join local mom/parent groups on other platforms or find activities geared toward your kid's age where you can socialize. The library is a great starting point.

we put a lot on ourselves as mothers. It's hard. Find the things that take the pressure off. I always found that getting our of the house helps. Go to baby classes where u can meet other mums likely going through the same thing. Go for walks. Try and talk through chores. Divide and conquer.

Hey! I’m a 40 year old sahm to a 10 month old boy. I’ve definitely had to change my expectations because it’s harder than I’ve ever imagined! I’ve always thought I was a pretty patient person, but little did I know how much more patience I’d need to care for a child! It also doesn’t help that I’m somewhat of a perfectionist- I’m slowly learning to let that go. The first few months I was so hard on myself to the point that I felt like I wasn’t cut out for this. I think somewhere along the way a switch flipped and I started giving myself grace and I’ve adopted a “slower living” attitude. I’ve felt much better and feel like I have a better understanding of my role as a mother. And I hear what you’re saying, I never get anything done either, but I just try to relax about it. We started having a routine for the winter, and that’s made me feel a bit more put together as well. We try to get out once a day, even if it’s just walking around Target. Thats super helpful to me!