Husband

You’re doing great. I’m sure he receives what he deserves😄

Staying physically fit, dress nicely, Cook, clean, compliment him, support his endeavors, keep him sexually satisfied, love him according to his love language

He comes homes to a clean home almost every evening. There may be some toys scattered around but the floors are vacuumed or mopped, counter are cleaned and wiped down, that sort of stuff. I do all of the cooking as well, make his lunches each night. I also get up early with him in the morning so we can spend a bit of time together and share a cup of coffee. I pick up small treats for him when I am out like his favorite chips or a knickknack he will like. I tell him at all the time thank you for going to work for our family. I think acknowledging that is important. I am sure there is more but that’s what I can think of off the top of my head.

@Sasha i was thinking the same thing 🤣🤣 It's really hard to compare to all these "super moms" bc i see post of some sahm doing this and that and I can barely get half of those things done bc little miss is super clingy. But I wouldn't beat yourself up or think you're to mean to your husband, you're probably doing great 😄 otherwise I'm sure he'd complain bc I am convinced all men are just big babies

But if anyone has ideas on how to get the whole house down without having their baby have 50 million breakdowns please give me advice 😩 i would like to finish unpacking my house and do a deep clean. We just moved in Saturday

@Sasha yeah I take care of the kids. That’s pretty much it.

Make dinner sometimes, clean sometimes, make his lunch, keep our children alive?

I make sure he gets to do his prebaby stuff. He used to be a HUGE concert goer. He gives me money all the time I just save some and buy him tickets and hotels etc to go take trips. Or I “allow” him to go on these trips when he plans it. We both believe it’s healthy for us both to get time away and love having something to look forward to in the year. I home make his food. He used to a frozen meal dude but now loves homemade scratch meals. Home made cookies I freeze too so he can have fresh hot cookies anytime. Back rubs and foot rubs. Plan dates with a baby sitter so he’s not always the one doing it. His love language is my love language so I actually love doing this for him and enjoy him loving it.

Keeping the children alive is a hard job. If I see something my boyfriend likes such as an energy drink I usually grab one for him. And if he is tired I try to take the kids out for the morning (he works till midnight) but I don't think he notices that. Its the little things that add up over time that really matter.

Keep the house clean, when baby naps we spend quality time together, (watch our favorite show or play Wii) I cook daily or I cook large meals that last 2-3 days. I compliment him, I express my feelings to him daily, tell him how much I love him and I wouldn’t know what I’d do without him. He also does the same to me, I send lovely messages while he’s working, I try to make home life easy for him by making sure most of the housework is done(if I need help he’ll do it) stuff like that

Yeah, you guys all do definitely like 100% more than I do

That’s okay! What do you do? I’m sure there are ways you make eachothers lives easier ??

@Ariyana I take care of the kids and that’s it

@Brittany baby carrier for when they really won’t stop. And engaging toys that will hold their attention are my two biggest helpers to get things done at home. I’m also not afraid to use screens as a tool to help my out.

@Lianne yes! Thank you for speaking yo my reality lol. Isn't doing our best good enough? I don't know how these women are keeping spotless houses, taking care of themselves and their kids, hoping into bed with their husband's every night, and then thanking them for "doing everything for the household" maybe I'm bitter just i just don't have the time to get all that done in one day lol

You’re doing great, taking care of a child is hard work. I have a lot of time during my day staying home, which is why I get everything done at home

I’d hate for him to be exhausted from work then have to come home to do housework or cook his own meals . When you feed your children do you only cook for them? Maybe you can try to make bigger meals for all of you and start there.

We both play poker but he loves to hold home games so I’ll make food and drinks for his friends and host while they play. The house is always clean for when he gets home from work and a plate of snacks (ham, tomatoes, cheese, and crackers) is on the counter waiting for him. Sometimes I put the boys in their room as he’s pulling up the driveway so the house is quiet. He gets to sleep in a couple days a week and I take care of my body and appearance because as important as it is to me, I know he likes it when I glow ✨ I take a genuine interest in his work and we make decisions together that best fit our lifestyle and goals. I offer real life advice for how he can improve and navigate his career.

@Ariyana he does dishes and makes dinner when he gets home. sometimes the kids eat at a different time than us. It just depends on what time he’s home and what’s for dinner.

@Makayla ms Rachel has honestly been a lifesaver sometimes same with bluey. But she hardly wants to watch TV which is a good thing I guss but on the other hand when I want stuff done it's not lol

@incognito it’s whatever works for you as a couple, I’m sure he doesn’t mind, if he does he would complain. You’re doing great. Although if you are looking for ways to lighten his load, set baby down put on a show, and try to get stuff done little by little, or make him a small meal so he doesn’t have to cook after work. Financially taking care of people is also a very hard job.

@Brittany bluey is a favorite in our house! We got tonieboxes for Christmas and my 1 year old honestly uses it more than my 3 year old, which worked out well because he is my stage 5 clinger. Magnitiles (I get the cheaper off brand) are another toy that will hold my kids’ attention for upwards of 30 minutes so I can get things done.

@Ariyana my kids aren’t babies anymore and there’s never any food in the house for dinner until he gets home from work

You guys don’t go grocery shopping ? Or he comes home after work with groceries?

@Ariyana i’ve been trying for years to get him to do grocery shopping. He brings stuff home for dinner every day.

I just tell him

@incognito You can literally get groceries delivered….¿ why not do that?? That has to be draining to have to grocery shop everyday especially after work..

@Shimaya there’s no delivery where we are

@Shimaya I agree, do u have a car to get things done while he’s at work? If not why don’t you go on weekends? We grocery shop together every weekend. Your expecting a lot from him. One person can only do so much.

@Ariyana we can go grocery shopping on Sundays, but that’s not the way his mom did it so that’s why he doesn’t. we never cooked together because I’m busy with kids.

During the week I make sure the house is clean, meals are ready, he can rest so he isn’t exhausted at work (bjs 😂) he spends time with the kids but I will ‘take care’ of them and do bedtime but on the weekends he is very helpful ! All that matters is that you are on the same page and do what works for your family to succeed! My sister and her husband are more like your family and they are just as happy !

Communication is key !

If you don’t mind me asking, does your husband do anything to help you with your children?

@Ariyana he helps with baths a couple times a week and pick up groceries and things I need for the kids

Does he play with them? What I’m asking is does he let you have any free time away from the kids?

@Ariyana no I don’t get free time away from the kids, but I also don’t drive so it’s kinda hard to do anything.

Because if he doesn’t then I understand why you wouldn’t have time to help with chores or cooking, but if he does, then you should be able to do some things in the home you both are living in.

Ok I understand now.

I live a lil over an hour away from any grocery store. I shop 2x a month. It helps A TON. If you’re the one shopping then you’re the one that should get to decide on how you do it. Way less stress with less trips especially if you have your kids with you.

@Hannah my husband does all the shopping when he gets off work at night

@incognito Why doesn’t he get enough for more than one day??

@Shimaya that’s just how he shops

I mean if you were to do the shopping since it would be easier to have food already at home instead of having to wait every night for him to shop after work and buy whatever. Not knowing if you’re going to cook separately or not is a lot going on in your head and his. Shopping right after work every day is hard too. Saves money as well A schedule can also be nice to have for him to do night time kid routine if you do mornings. Not just whenever he wants to but that’s his schedule and your schedule be mornings. Me and my partner definitely have had to sit down MANY times to get things under control and scheduled to make sure we’re both taking on the kid load because it is a 24/7 job not just a 9-5 for the kids. Heck my partner is glad he can play and watch our kids so I can cook and do dishes. He does morning shift so I can have me time in the morning. I do night shift so he can relax after eating. Can’t care for others if u aren’t taking care of urself too. 💜

I always ask my husband this and he always responds with “everything. Everything you’re doing”. You cook, clean, take care of the kids, ect,. We tell each other that we appreciate each other and appreciate what their doing (example: I cooked dinner. He’d say, “thank you, my love/love. I appreciate you”. Or “I appreciate you for cooking dinner”.) Our 5 year old has been picking that up and would say “thank you, mom” to me every time after I serve him any meal, food, drinks, ect,. I don’t know if I’m a clean freak and/or OCD. I’m always cleaning. I even look for things to clean 🤣 I deep cleaned the house when my oldest (5) was at school and I’m just home with our newborn and hubby is at work . I also go and run errands and get things done before I have to go pick up my 5 year old.

@Hannah I don’t do the shopping because I don’t drive. he doesn’t have a set schedule for work so sometimes he’s working later sometimes he gets off earlier so it’s hard to make schedules for us.

What about the weekends?

Why can’t you drive there together

That has to be frustrating I’m sorry

@Ariyana he works on Saturdays sometime Sundays. It just depends.

In the nicest way possible, It just doesn’t seem reasonable that he works, grocery shops everyday after work, does the dishes, and cooks & gives them them baths Your kids aren’t babies so I’m guessing they can entertain themselves for a bit? If I had to work and do all that coming home I’d lose my mind.