Corn ruining my marriage

Not crazy sounds like he has a corn addiction and should probably seek help it’s not normal to let women online effect your real life relationship

ew why is his mom defending that

Your not crazy love ! Idc what anyone says but corn is bad it’s never been a good thing and anyone that say otherwise is crazy ! It destroys people relationships etc . And especially for men ! There’s numerous testimonies of men that talk about how they how they once had a corn addiction and it distorted their mind and perception of women and relationships when it comes to intimacy. But I would have a very good talk with your husband even though I’m sure you had before but this time I would tell him you mean business because something’s gotta change that’s not fair to you i’m not saying to leave him, but I do know it does get to that point because there’s other women that have in the past done that but if this effects you I would definitely make some changes! Your happiness matters too 🫶🏼

https://canadiancentreforaddictions.org/signs-of-porn-addiction/ https://www.stayhere.live/blog/porn-addiction-signs https://www.thehartcentre.com.au/watching-porn-how-normal-is-it-when-is-porn-an-addiction/

I know it’s boundary in your relationship but are there other factors at play? It’s a boundary in mine as well but my husband and I discussed him using it while I was postpartum and recovering until I was ready to resume our normal level of intimacy. Is there a discrepancy in how much intimacy you both need in the relationship? Are you still recovering and not being intimate? Is his drive exponentially higher than yours? Not an excuse but maybe a factor

@Jenneca why he wants to use it means nothing if she has expressed how she feels and he’s still doing it behind her back that’s cheating there is absolutely no need for corn use we have been put into a society that normalizes men getting off to other women but there’s nothing normal about it corn is proven to be bad for your mind is a leading cause of ed plus bad for a relationship it’s totally normal to not want someone to watch it knowing these things

@Chayah I didn’t say it wasn’t normal to want that in your relationship. But there can be a reason to do it. If I didn’t touch my man for an extended period of time of course he’s going to seek satisfaction from himself. We’re all about 3 months postpartum odds are many of us aren’t touching our partners yet and may not for some time to come. Many women didn’t want to be touched during pregnancy so some of these men have been left to their own devices for upto a year. So what is the expectation of our men? Do nothing until we’re ready?

@Jenneca also not to be mean but do you not find it concerning that your man would rather be off looking at random naked women while ur postpartum because he doesn’t have the self control to wait he would rather sexually indulge in others bodies to satisfy himself then have two months of abstinence with you where growth and connection take place he can’t admire your body from afar use pictures of you or just be present in your healing journey???

@Jenneca yes intimacy comes in many forms it doesn’t have to be sexual it can be holding each other deep conversations there’s plenty of intimacy in recovery postpartum this idea that men have this uncontrollable need for sex simply isn’t true they are perfectly capable of abstinence for that period of time

@Chayah no because my husband and I have needs and understand the limits of each others labidos. We work together to make sure we’re happy and satisfied in our marriage. So in the same way you expect your partner to abstain from everything including themselves. You can’t just accept them using something when you are unavailable to them?

@Chayah if it was a need for active sex he’d be pressuring her or seeking it from a person. Not satisfying his own needs. And again I have this boundary in my marriage but not when I’m actively unavailable to my husband. And when did abstinence become abstaining from yourself?

@Jenneca I think it’s a little unfair for you to defend her husband who is lying about crossing a boundary in their marriage while also getting his mommy to defend him. If that is something you’re okay with in your marriage then that’s a boundary in your own marriage, but clearly her marriage and expectations are very different so your husband’s indulgences & the way your marriage is set up is not relevant here and it sounds judgey when OP is obviously hurting from her husbands unfair actions.

not to mention he can relieve himself without using corn, or they can find a compromise that she is comfortable with

@Barira I didn’t excuse his behavior I offered reasons why he may be doing it. Telling your partner to not watch it when you’re available is one thing but often times context matters.

@Jenneca again the idea that men can’t go without simply isn’t true a man or women who can’t go without has a lust or cheating problem they should address satisfaction in a relationship goes far beyond sex relationships without corn use typically last longer and are happier one reason we don’t use corn is because the corn industry is largely based on abuse of the workers or portrays abuse that’s harmful to the public with plenty of adverse effects on one’s personal life higher levels of depression anxiety seeing we care about each other we obviously don’t want that we simply understand that temporary sexual release isn’t better than a good healthy relationship a healthy body a healthy mind and the potential suffering of others also when the relationship is good you simply don’t desire that

@Jenneca ofc we know the reason why he is doing it, but context doesn’t matter when it is something they have already discussed & he is lying about it and recruiting his mom. if they consider it cheating then it’s cheating. in some marriages the partner is okay with their significant other sleeping with other partners when they’re not available & it’s not cheating for them, but if they discussed it and one partner is not okay then it doesn’t matter if she’s postpartum and not available sleeping with someone else is cheating. your boundaries and justification for your husband watching corn won’t apply to her marriage regardless of context

the context is quite literally their marriage and their boundaries

@Jenneca if he really had to he could do things by himself the need to sexually indulge in other women while you’re wife is postpartum isn’t normal he is seeking sexual gratification from other women which can vary easily turn to cheating men who watch corn are cheating at a far higher percentage

@Barira did they discuss it or did she freak out and so he said what he had to to end the conversation. (Op I’m not saying that’s what happened) we are only getting one side of this and I’m sure if we got his side it’d sound entirely different. Either way if they haven’t figured out the why or come up with a solution for their issue it doesn’t matter if she keeps bringing it up. Just saying don’t do it doesn’t solve anything

@Jenneca https://canopy.us/blog/how-porn-affects-relationships/

@Jenneca here’s some educational information it has all the research studies to these negative effects

@Chayah you’ve lost your mind. Sexual satisfaction may not be the only factor to make a good relationship. But it’s definitely an important one. A lust problem? Or a cheating problem? For wanting sexual satisfaction.

@Jenneca no not for wanting sexual satisfaction for seeking it out side of your relationship in a harmful way to yourself and society

@Jenneca again I linked the actual studies that prove satisfaction of relationship is better without porn

@Jenneca also I think you’ve lost your mind if you think you need corn for a healthy relationship? What do you think they did before it existed haha

@Chayah its no better if there’s no sex happening at all either. Also before video porn there were magazines photos drawings brothels there has always been a way to get satisfaction.

@Jenneca no sex at all is referring to a damaged sexual relationship not postpartum so yes if the marriage is sexless counseling needs to happen that doesn’t mean porn will make it better it would statistically make it worse again it’s also bad for you personally and it’s created off of the potential harm of others that’s terrible and disgusting

People in a sexless marriage are gonna watch porn. People will have their satisfaction. Just because you don’t think it should happen doesn’t mean it doesn’t. And if they haven’t come to a solution not just a demand it doesn’t matter. If you’ve always been sexually incompatible with your partner then you knew that from the beginning if you know your partner likes it however often then you know when they’re gonna have to meet those needs and if you think you or your partner don’t deserve that satisfaction you’re a shit partner.

@Jenneca my last comment I’ll make did you know videos of real underage kids have been found on these sites teen is a top category there are real videos of women and men’s assault on there women and men who have been sex trafficked beyond your relationship you are okay with giving views aka money to these harmful sites?

@Chayah I'm not arguing one way or the other but I do just want to point out that your comment "what do you think they did before it existed" is pretty far off the mark....the earliest evidence of 🌽 was found in the Stone Age, about 7,200 years ago. Humans have quite literally always had access to/created 🌽.

@MK I would argue the large majority of men had little to no access to corn and just cause it existed doesn’t mean it existed in the same way it does today very easy to access hours of online content and cam girls not to mention the content being very graphic today so I would say they simply aren’t comparable

@MK something existing and someone having access to those things are very different so I don’t see ur point tbh

To each their own is my thinking. What looks wrong is someone’s relationship, might be right in somebody else’s. In this case, it’s about principles. Clearly she expressed she doesn’t like him watching it. However he LIED. Which is never okay in any relationship. His idea that her reasoning for him not watching is invalid because it’s based off her insecurities, HOWEVER, she disagrees. The disconnect is that he’s not understanding and/or agreeing with why he should stop watching. A open and honest conversation needs to happen in order to meet in the middle as far as compromise. She has needs , he has needs which is normal. But right now their needs are conflicting because their opinions on the matter is what they’re disagreeing on. Sometimes it’s better to agree to disagree. I would let him know I much rather him tell me the truth then lie about anything he is doing even if it’s contrary to what I’d like him to do and your going to have to practice to not have an emotional

Reaction when he does tell you the truth. Otherwise, he will continue to avoid said reaction and continue to lie about what he is doing. Everyone needs a safe space to speak their truth. And unfortunately not everyone is going to agree to the same terms or think the same way because they’re not the same person. Best thing you can do is talk to him again about why you don’t like him doing it and your preference as far as what you’d like him to do ( not watch it) but ultimately it’s up to him to take your opinion into consideration and if he doesn’t the he doesn’t. Yes, it will be upsetting but it will tell you more about him and the respect he has for your feelings. You can’t force anyone to be someone they are not. And demanding action from another will only continue to cause them to lie. It has to be their choice based off the information you give them.

Hey…. I thought I’d give you a slightly different perspective. I was married to a man for 15 years, had two wonderful children with him. His daily routine started with an alarm at 5:30, when he thought no one would be up, and go in the front room and watch 🌽. I tried everything to get it to stop. We went to a marriage councillor, a sex therapist, (mainly due to the nature of what he was watching, it was something I would never be consenting too.) I dressed up in sexy underwear, even though my self esteem was at rock bottom as my husband expected me to do it. I tried to be supportive, I tried being angry, it was awful. No matter how I tried to get through I couldn’t. In the end we divorced. Other factors at play, but mainly in part to the lies and utter disrespect I felt. I was a complete mess. Fast forward a few years, I’m with an amazing man, who makes me feel empowered, sexy and we experiment sexually, watch 🌽 together and it’s completely different!