i feel so used 😢

Aw babe, you ain't stupid... Guys are just 🍆 you can set boundaries, choose yourself and set goals in life for you and your baby's life. You aren't tied to him. You've just got a human to bring up together. You can do that separately. He doesn't deserve anymore of you if this is how he's been handling what he's got. You can find a man who values family but focus on yourself first and learn to love and protect yourself too. You've got this, mama.

Cut him off honestly. Set a boundary that you won’t be entertaining it anymore, you need to set that boundary for yourself honestly. Fuck him. He doesn’t respect you and that’s evident. I wouldn’t put yourself through more bullshit

First I want to start off by saying you did not ruin your life … now you know to move accordingly .. don’t have sex with him anymore . Let him see the baby and make him leave . Ain’t no spending the night , or any sexual advances . & let’s see how that table turn but one things for sure tables always turn

You should've stopped sleeping together when you ended things and that would have prevented this

@Terra she has to learn though , she lost her virginity to him . So it’s clear she’s emotionally attached and also isn’t experienced like most of us are

@Destiny this is why people shouldn't sleep with people outside of commitment. They broke up no commitment.. she didn't have to go through this.

@Terra even still, it’s a learning experience. Not everyone’s values are the same either and we shouldn’t push the narrative that commitment is the solution/preventative, especially if she thought they could work on things. You can be committed to people and they can still fuck you over. It’s life.

@Dai but in her situation he would have any room to say "she was easy lay because she's a desperate mum or no one else would want her" because her standards for sleeping with him is more than just I love you. Not saying what he was justified, but if you sleep with people even your ex without demanding commitment first you open the door to being used for sex and unfortunately that also comes with people talking poorly of you. I think it's sad that women think this lesson has to be lived through to learn from it when it doesn't have to be.

@Terra Yes, but she was not aware until now, correct? That’s my understanding. And you don’t know her intentions or her story beyond what you see (and I THINK) it’s distasteful for you to assume her intentions behind her actions. If he was an asshole, she learned something. Everything in life is an experience, everything is a LESSON. Whether it should be or not is not is a different matter. If I was in her situation the last thing I would want to hear is “oh it could have been prevented” if you don’t have anything helpful to say, why are you here 😂😂. She’s sad, she needs advice or probably some support and you’re talking about if she was committed it wouldn’t have happened. Which would be another lesson right?? Because imagine if she was committed and he still did that. The wrong people will talk badly about you for breathing, it’s literally life.

@Dai women are the least supportive people, women are more likely to let her continue sleeping with men without demanding commitment and letting her fall for the same thing over and over then being there acting supportive. At least I will tell her where she went wrong in hopes that she's uses that on the next man in her life so in no situation they could ever claim she's easy. Also you don't only learn something if the man is an asshole, you can learn from good men as well. And I'm not assuming I know anymore of her situation then she puts out, but I also don't show my support the same way most do because I want women to be better not feel better and that's a big difference

@Terra Obviously you don’t only have to learn from asshole men, if you’re not reading what I’m saying, just say so. Because no one said that sweetheart. I’m emphasizing that there’s no use in making her feel worse about this situation. She knows this is a messed up situation, so why pour salt in it? It’s unsettling how I have to keep repeating myself in different ways lol. And women are the least supportive? Idk what women you surround yourself with, but I’ve never had that thought or experience 🤷🏽‍♀️. And so far everyone I have seen in this thread has been supportive of her and encouraged her to leave him alone and to set a boundary. Please don’t generalize the rest of us based on whatever experience you have had or seen.

@Terra 80% of the world has done it . You wanted till marriage to have sex ?

@Destiny just because most of the world does something doesn't mean it is a good thing. Casually sleeping around shouldn't be so normalized, it's been shown to be pretty messy and cause lots of problems. Also being committed to someone doesn't necessarily mean marriage. You can be committed to a boyfriend.

@Terra chileeeee ok