Am I bad if…

If she is a friend she won't mind you opening up and telling her the truth. If she is bothered by how you feel then she isn't a true friend. Maybe tell her how you feel

@Dianna I thought about talking to her but I also remember how I felt when I was pregnant in the sense that it’s a sensitive time. I may not mean to hurt her but it may come off that way even if I explain myself. Something else I thought of is what if I have a legitimate excuse of not being able to go? My son has his yearly doctors appointment at that time. We just moved but since we haven’t found a doctor here yet (I never cancelled the other appointment just in case of that). But then is that bad too?

It's bad if she is your friend. Yes. Because if your my friend I expect you to be there. And if you couldn't afford it or feel out of place I would hope as my friend you would tell me. Sensitivity or not. But you could say it without being harsh.

I would simply ask her if maybe she can not name everyone who bought certain things due to feeling embarrassed about your gift. And as a good friend, she should be fine with that small adjustment. But honestly, no one should care. It's really the thought that counts. She shouldn't be so bougie about her baby anyways. It's a literal waste of money to buy expensive items that you can find just as good product for a lower price. And her other friends and family are jerks if they're judging you for any reason.

Babys outgrow things so fast. And honestly, I've had expensive items break on me versus the cheaper product lasting longer. So sometimes it's not about the cost. It's about the dependability.

I understand how you feel but I think it’s something you need to work out on your own. It’s nice to be able to afford expensive things for a baby but remember they outgrow things so so fast. But more importantly the cost of baby gear has absolutely nothing to do with the baby’s outcome. So you just have to really internalize the fact that your baby has everything they need if they have a safe home, food, clean clothes and the love of their parents. Everything is extra. Please don’t skip the event because of this. She’s your friend so she must know your financial situation. If she acts somehow about your gift then you know she’s not a true friend. You’re not beneath or above anyone because you make more or less than them

For my baby, most of his clothes are from facebook marketplace place from a lady who has little boys. I think I’ve spent a total of $60 on clothes. The baby gear I chose minimal things and put them on my registry. The only new clothes he has are gifts from friends and family. All the diapers he’s worn so far were gifts (he’s 8 months old) when I run out of diapers I have cloth diapers ready to go. My husband and I decided it’s better to put most of the money towards saving for his education because that’s what will set him up for the rest of his life and things like swim classes and vacations. It’s even a point of pride for my husband and I how little we spend on these things and how our focus is on intangibles like experiences and education

Not bad of you at all. I do know that if I was the friend I would definitely want you there and appreciate the gift you brought no matter the price. If she truly is a friend she will be happy you made it to the shower. I know easier said than done, I’m very non confrontational. I would just try to not let it bother you the best you can at the shower. Just be there for her❤️