Need advice please

My BD and I recently broke up due to the emotional, psychological and verbal abuse from him, his mum and his sister since my daughter was born. When I arrived back home to the hospital from giving birth that same day I was bombarded by his mum everyday 24/7. She wants to be the main parent and the mummy to my child and my BD was supporting her. If I was upset with his mothers presence he would tell me I need to relax and let his mum bond with my daughter; everytime I try to voice out I was bullied, given the silent treatment and told there’s nothing I could do. He would try to shame me if I ever thought of reporting my postpartum depression to my health visitor so I just learnt to endure until I finally told my family and they backed off but not entirely, his mum did verbally abuse me first and told me I stole her son from her. Since then he has been telling me it’s only my daughter and I that he cares about but he recently i found out that he has been sending her regular updates and letting her speak to his mum on FaceTime like nothing ever happened. This triggered the issues we have always had and he broke up with me. He is now threatening to take me to court and said how I’m stupid and now can’t have a choice because his mother is finally going to have my daughter with his 50% custody. I am completely heartbroken for my daughter she doesn’t deserve the instability and I’m worried about safeguarding. She has never been away from me for 2 years and he has never offered to do anything alone with her to give me a break. What can I do?

Show your support

Document everything, phone calls, text messages, conversations. Create audio files when he speaks to you. Don’t talk to him over the phone if you can’t record the call, stick to messages. Call his bluff! Go low contact once you’ve gathered enough info, stick your only talking about the child. You are your child’s best option, he’s not good father if he can’t watch his child alone. Retrain your brain, learn something new & apply it. Set personal goals & focus on moving forward

It’s unlikely he will get full custody and half with his mum unless you were a risk to your child which you aren’t! It’s an empty threat to get you worried. Agree with above keep a record of everything they say and do and it will go in your favour. Try not to argue with them and keep your cool which will be hard but it’s for your child’s benefit

Seek legal help. Gather any information you have, counter for full custody. You’ll more than likely end up at a mediator first and then if that doesn’t work out, you’ll see a judge. Just be open about your experience without sounding like this is a target to take time away from him but more so just to make sure she has stability.

Thank you everyone I will take it all on board xx

This really depends on where you live. It is VERY hard to prove abuse especially emotional, psychological and verbal. It is likely even with proof of that kind of abuse if it was never directed towards the child he can get 50/50 custody. During his time it won’t matter if he allows his mom to see yalls child

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