Grandparents kissing baby

So before I had my baby and after he arrived I have made it abundantly clear I do not want anyone kissing my baby apart from me and my partner, and even we don't kiss his mouth. I said no kisses at all until at least after his first lot of jabs. He had his 8 week jabs and I said okay, top of head is okay but still not hands or face. I have recently found out that both mine and my partners parents have been kissing my baby when I have not been looking (before his jabs) and I'm absolutely fuming but don't know how to say anything now that I've said it's okay. I've shared things about not kissing babies and the risks of it multiple times and they all know why I don't want people kissing him. I'm so upset and feel like they've betrayed my trust but I really don't know how to approach it now because it's already happened, if I saw it I would have said something there and then. Also I can't just stop them from seeing my baby because they are my main support system.

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I would definitely say something. If they have not respected yiur boundaries with this, they will not respect it with other things like no tv or no sugar. However, you know your family best and how much you depend on them. Personally I would not feel comfortable leaving my baby alone with someone who does not respect my boundaries (regardless to which boundaries they are) I don't have family around so maybe it is easier for me to say. I've seen many posts here of people fish their relationship woth grandparents difficult because they do not respect their wishes but they are also childcare.

It's a hard conversation to have I know. Your are utterly valid to feel angry, ive been in a similar situation myself with other members of the family but if you don't approach it then they are going to think nothing of not respecting your wishes in the future, what may be a uncomfortable conversation now will set a good expectation of respecting your parental choices for the future. I'm sure they love and care about you and the baby and if that's true they will probably be nothing but embarrassed and upset they hurt you when you speak to them. I had to say to my family, I don't care if you agree and I don't feel the need to explain myself or present a PowerPoint presentation every time I state one of our choices for the baby. If we say "no" it means "no". Very awkward at first but saves more awkward convos in the future. Your doing great advocating for your little one ❤️❤️

I would feel exactly the same as you, my mam kissed my babies hand a few weeks ago and I told her off and disinfected baby's hand in front of her. My in laws did something that I felt disrespected a boundary and made me uncomfortable. I was quite cross but I never said anything cos the damage was don, but it wasn't to do with baby safety. I think you should say something just emphasising you're hurt they didn't respect your boundaries and expect them to do so as he gets older. But I understand the difficulty. Your feelings are sooo valid though ❤️

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