RANT/opinions needed
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My husband worked from home today and made pancakes with the kids while I laid in bed (I didn't sleep well last night). That is so frustrating. If it were my husband, I would probably scream at him, too. "WHY WON'T YOU HELLLLLLP!?!?!?" The most generous interpretation I can think of is that maybe he is trying not to step on your parenting toes. Like, he doesn't want to be questioning your methods in front of the kids and knows you have it handled... But, nah. He is just lazy.
Thankfully im a stay at home mum with our second and my partner barely helps. Ive said the same to my partner about if I was working I'd still be left getting the girls ready for school/nursery and myself ready for work. I don't understand why it falls to us to sort everything 😕
I'd have told my partner before going back to work that he's gonna get up and help in the morning
He should get one ready and then it will be evenish. Though in my opinion, he should get both ready because girls tend to take longer to get ready.
My husband always helps with cleaning or cooking and spends time with the kids. He works long hours but still manages to pitch in and help when ever he can. He is all about his family and this is one of the reasons I adore and love him. It’s ok for men to help. It’s another way for your partner to show you that he cares and loves you. Have a calm talk with him about how it makes you feel and ask for him to help. Every small thing he can do is helpful.
HELL no. Unacceptable. This has to change immediately. I would not accept this in my house for one second.
Nope nope nope nope. And, honestly, I'm going to go past "he's not helping." That language implies that he would be assisting you or doing you a favor - which is not the case. He is straight up failing as a partner by not taking the initiative to balance the home/parent responsibility load, and I'd be verrrrryyyyy direct about telling him that.
It sounds like you could each take a kid to get ready each morning (his choice), or swap days (even/odd) to get both the kids ready, to help make it more fair. Propose it and see what he says. (Then tells us! 😀)
That is hella frustrating. Maybe this weekend you two can sit down and talk about expectations. He's used to you minding the children and now probably expects that to be your role. It's shitty. But now that you're back to work he should definitely be tackling one of the children. Like maybe Monday he gets the baby ready and you get the 4yr old ready. Maybe Tuesday you get the baby ready and he gets the 4yr old ready. This way each baby still gets to bond with both parents in the morning throughout the week.
I just went to brunch with some friends and I'm the only Mom who is home, the rest of them work. My goodness, the struggles they all shared about how hard it is to work + find a shared balance at home with their spouses sounds so hard. Much harder than me just doing everything myself. I think it's quite common and feel for all of you who have to deal with this. Sounds like there is rarely a dynamic that works 100% where everyone is satisfied ☹️
You’re not crazy. You need to spell stuff out for some people. You should sit down and talk when you’re not frustrated. He can get one kid ready and you get the other ready. Although prepared to still be potentially annoyed because he might not do things as well and thorough as you would and you might still end up going behind him.
It’s really easy to not see the problem when you’re not the one who is extremely stressed. Also, he may feel insecure/incapable because he doesn’t have the practice and that might be what’s keeping him from jumping in. Either way this is fixable with communication. Tell him you need him to participate in the morning routine, provide him the information he needs and don’t be overly critical when he does things slightly differently than you would have. Explain the reasoning behind things so he can understand why you think things should be done a certain way, and be open to his perspective.
He’s the crazy one for not helping especially since you both have to leave for work. I’m a SAHM and my husband still helps me settle my kiddo if she happens to wake up before he leaves (it’s rare because he’s usually out the door by 545)