Am I wrong for getting upset?

I mean yes and no. No for obvious reasons because I mean that is the birth of your child how or why would you do a party the same weekend ? And yes because his daughter’s birthday is also important. He could’ve done it a different day but if your C-Section is scheduled then what’s the difference?

I would ask him if he realized the issue with the dates my husband is "calendar blind" sometimes I swear if it's not highlighted in big bold letters he'll double book

Also you’re not having an emergency… it’s scheduled. Unless he’s asking you to cook, clean, etc he’s unreasonable but if he’s not then you’re being unreasonable

@Elizabeth I agree. It’s also not his daughter’s fault that my baby is due to come the same week as her birthday. But he could just attend the party that they’re already having for her and let that be that. She’s still getting celebrated. He doesn’t have to throw her a party on his own.

But if he wants to what’s the issue ? That the daughter is taking attention away from you ? That you want the week all to yourself? I’m not understanding the issue here. He seems like a great dad trying to do good by his daughter

@Autumn I did and he said he didn’t even think about that. Which makes me feel even worse because I’ve never NOT considered him in any plan that I’ve made regarding my children or his. As a matter of a fact, I booked a cruise for his son and my son for their birthday at the end of the year because their birthdays are a week apart. It’s always been my tradition to take my kids on a cruise for their 17th birthday, but I included his son BY DEFAULT.. didn’t think twice about it.. because my plans include EVERYONE. Why can’t I get the same consideration?

Ok that sucks to not be considered in a plan being made. Dad needs to pay better attention but not wrong for wanting to plan a party for his kid.

I get it’s her birthday but it’s still inconsiderate. You’re having a major surgery where you spend 2 days in the hospital after if there are no complications then you’re supposed to go to a party the a day or two later with a newborn around a bunch of people? Not wrong to want to do the party for his daughter but I think wrong to do it that weekend.

No, you are not being selfish. Your feelings are completely valid. It’s understandable that he wants to celebrate his daughter, but the timing and logistics of it seem inconsiderate of you and your needs. Which he said he didn’t consider you and the birth so.. there’s no argument there. I would be stressed leading up to surgery too. Personally. Without having extra things. It would make more sense to either go to the party that is being planned already OR plan the party for the week prior to the birth of the new baby. A c-section is intense and so is having a new baby. It’s not his daughter’s fault. That’s true. But he does need to consider a new baby and his wife’s medical needs post delivery. There is no reason why the birthday party can’t be moved slightly before. I do that with my kid if I need to and it’s not a big deal.

Who is going to the party that he wants to have? If the mom is having a party I would assume friends are going to that one and it would be weird to invite friends to two birthday parties. It doesn’t seem like he is thinking. If everything goes good with the c section then you would be home by the weekend but what if you need to stay longer and have a tough recovery.

@Alex I agree!! I wouldn’t consider taking my newborn around all those ppl at just few days old though. I’m terrified of what he could catch from all those germs. So we would just have to miss this one and attend next year.

@Jesselee Thank you! I will absolutely suggest that we do something different with her the weekend before her birthday! That’s a great idea and he won’t be giving her something that she’s already having and she will still be celebrated🥰🙌🏽 Thank you!!

Well I'm so sorry in that case even my husband wouldn't even stick to his guns after being told he's calendar blind and i love this man but he's a caveman good luck and tell him if he has it he better sanitize himself real well for babys sake

@Christina This is all good to consider. He is inviting her cousins on his side and the family members that his ex-wife doesn’t associate with. So it would be a different crowd. I understand him wanting to do it for these reasons because I had her a party last year for this SAME REASON.. his ex-wife doesn’t deal with his family and they wanted to celebrate his daughter for her birthday too! Completely understandable but this year, it’s a bit of an issue because of the new baby that we have coming. I won’t be able to help.. he’s having it at his sister’s house 1 hour and 40 minutes from where we live and I will be in recovery or either still be in the hospital. He and his ex-wife aren’t on bad terms. He could just go to the party that she’s having and take the cousins with him. I’m almost positive she won’t mind. But he just wants to have his own party🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

I literally do it like every other birthday for my daughter. It’s circumstantial. This one year is an outlier for you guys. They won’t all be that way! Everyone can be happy. Good luck!

I understand why you feel upset but that’s something that you can and should discuss with him. My baby’s due date was less than a week away from his youngest so we planned to have it 3 weeks before just in case. My little one came about one week after that. I didn’t want her to feel like her birthday was going to be undermined by her sister’s birth so we planned it together ahead of time. Maybe if you talk to him you can move up one weekend.

No you’re not. Given the situation this year, he should have talked to you about it and come up with a solution together. I got mad at my husband for leaving me home sick with our sick daughter to go to his sons soccer game on his exs weekend. Normally Im all for him doing things like that but it was the fact that he left me home alone with developing pneumonia with our sick daughter that had the flu that made me frustrated. Not that he went, just that he didn’t take into account his sick wife and daughter because in that situation I think he should’ve been more considerate.