Fearful/anxious of baby crying

You are not a shit mum for a starters I feel like this as well. The thing I tell myself is this anxiety is very real and is a primal response to an uncomfortable sound initiating our flight response. So it's a perfectly understandable reaction and is no reflection on you. I haven't dealt with colic so I can only imagine how much harder this has been on you. It will get easier and be kind on yourself you're doing the best that you can and the very fact that you are worried and that you're getting yourself some help shows you're a good mum because a bad mum wouldn't care at all

Definitely not alone in how you feel! My baby is 6 weeks and for the last week and a half has started to become really fussy at bedtime. Initially this was related to her silent reflux because she just couldn’t lie comfortable flat and she is taking a new medication now to help this. Unfortunately though she still hasn’t been settling well in her crib (but in her pram yes!) and we are a bit stumped as to the reason… I’ve found myself becoming anxious and teary as we near bedtime because I feel useless and also am shattered myself. I’ve just adapted our routine to a way that makes me more comfortable so I can be as relaxed, responsive and patient as possible in settling my baby when she is upset. However, I still have felt anxious in the lead up to bedtime, even with the change in routine! You are not on your own, it’s not a strange feeling/response to be having and you’ll be doing a great job - it isn’t easy! ❤️

You are not alone in how you feel, it’s very very very difficult if you have a high needs baby that cries a lot. I’m sure they use the sound of babies crying as a form of torture and there’s a reason they do, it’s awful. With our first I used to cry every night, without fail, when it started to go dark because I had no idea what the evening was going to bring. Our LG is now 9 weeks and although she’s still quite upset of an evening, thanks to her jabs that she had Tuesday, it was starting to settle. It really does get better and easier but I know when you’re in the thick of it, it feels never ending. Hang in there x

One suggestion that might help - have you heard of the Wonder Weeks book or app? Essentially, they go through the different "leaps" that a baby makes in terms of development, and right around week 7 is the start of leap 2. Essentially baby is discovering patterns, their own hands etc and each leap has a fussy phase and then a skills phase. So, it sounds like she's going through the fussy phase at the moment. For me, mental health wise, reading about the leaps has helped me put things like the crying into perspective. I feel the same about the crying. The other thing that I've been told is that crying can help develop the various muscles needed for feeding and for speech later - so whilst it's not pleasant, and I'm not an advocate of the cry it out here at all, there are some benefits to crying. That helped me when a lactation specialist told me that.