Surname

I split from my partner at 6 months post partum and I regret not double barreling my daughters surname. At the time we didn’t actually talk about it she just got his name as we were together (which I also regret) He has now had no contact for 2 years other than paying maintenance and I’m hoping to change her name on the future. If I had double barrelled the name things would be so much easier You have some time to work it out when things calm a little, there are lots of emotions when the break up first happens and double barrelling means baby will have his surname

My baby dad and I aren’t together but my son is getting his last name. It means more to him than it does to me. Just don’t make the decision just to be petty and make him mad. Do what feels right. I don’t know your relationship, but if you’ve been saying for 8 months baby will have his name and now you’re fighting, I can understand his argument and it feels like you’re making the decision out of pettiness. You could do your name and then his too. The nurse will ask you the name, you give it. If he refuses to sign the birth certificate because of it, that’s his problem 🤷🏼‍♀️

Whatever choice you make know that it can always be changed later on … no biggy .. hope your ok xx

Either double barrel or leave his off. It can always be changed later and isn’t hard or too expensive to do.

I’m kinda old school and always be believe a child should have dad’s last name. Obviously under certain circumstances no but in this case I would. What the dad and I have going on has nth to do with the baby

I am here to say it is hard to change the legal last name of the child later on. Say you give bb his last name and decide you want to change that, but he's signed the birth certificate or is otherwise recognized as the dad in any way... It's not gonna be easy AT ALL. Unless both parties agree on the change (and why would he do that), then you would be in court having to fight for the change and hope to get it ,or wait until the child is old enough to make a choice themselves. That being the case I would make sure you give the baby the name you want to as the mother. If you want yours give baby yours. If you want both and don't mind that at all no matter how he acts, give both. It's your choice as you are the mom. And if you don't give baby his last name and he is throwing a fit you can tell him hey if we are back together and married in the future then it actually would be easy to change the baby last name since you all would have the same. I know you say a lot would have to change to get back together..

.. an that's great because girl hold your standards. If he wanted that to be the solution he could work for it anytime and also you can see how he is showing up as a parent over time and be the more reasonable one if you ever decided to change it anyways. But you don't know how much he's going to be present as a dad anyways right now. All you know is you. And that you'll be there no matter what. Just my thoughts on it. And advice to be careful what you pick because it's not that simple to change it honestly. You deserve to be happy with the choice

My reasons baby got my last name not dads: He's a butthead and I feared he wouldn't show up for the baby. (He hasn't physically he's all talk and it's been a year. No money. No time. Excuses instead of visits) He wasn't very nice to me. I'm the one taking care of baby every day and night since birth. He claimed he would help but how would I know that... (Also besides maybe a week he never did). We weren't together when I gave birth. I had a feeling I would be doing all baby care. I was right. Plus I went thru a hard pregnancy. And I knew it would be harder to change later. I've had a friend who gave baby the dad's last name and the dad bailed so bad. She went to court to change it and it was refused because the dad wouldn't sign off and agree and he had rights to the baby as well because he was on bc. The child is now 4 and he still has a dad he's hardly ever seen last name... I just find that sad and unfair. Regardless just do what feels right to you. You're the mom here.

I told bd and his family ( he wasn't working at the time) if he didn't get a job by the time baby was born, she wasn't going to have his last name. What happened? Baby have only my last name, and I don't regret it. My 2nd born is a boy and there's no boy in my family to continue the last name. I asked and half begged his dad to let baby have my last name for mainly that reason. Baby 2 last name is hyphen, my last name first. I told him if we have our girl later on, she'll have his last name. I know it's not the "right" way, but it makes sense to me lol

Keep your surname on baby. If dad proves he's a committed part of the family one day by you having his name then sure. But if that's not an option I'd say no way in hell. I'm my sons sole carer for 99% of his life. I sort the schooling the medical side the support side. I didn't want an argument everytime I came in regarding why my child's name was different and if the dad needed involving in the discussion. He isn't active until Sunday between 11 and 12.30 so he's not going to have the authority that comes with sharing a surname. May sound awful but from my experience it's better. I was a kid that got stopped in the airport because my surname didn't match my mum and sisters. Xx

i’m not with babydad but my child and my second baby will (currently pregnant) both have his surname . i think whether bd involved or not , we together or not… that’s something i can provide to them to have that one bit of connection with their dad regardless the outcome in the future. plus will admit my surname is awful so it was much better but i did have a debate on other names.