He’s so fucking dumb

And then had the audacity to say we’re gonna bump heads where our baby is concerned. Yes tf we are. U don’t know anything about babies. He even got mad at me one time saying I wasn’t pouring enough water on her face so she can get use to it. And I told him when water touches her face she doesn’t breathe so I can’t just pour a butt load of water on her face and that she can drown and he’s telling me she can’t drown like that and I’m making her soft. He’s been gone for the whole 5 months of her life and is coming back soon so he’s basically parenting over the phone and he doesn’t even know her. I love my husband very much but I’m not sure how I feel about him being alone with her, I know he doesn’t intentionally want to hurt her but it really doesn’t hurt to educate yourself on simple baby stuff.

Men don't listen but he could just be joking as well or it's simply not common knowledge lol because I didn't know about honey til my 3rd baby

@Sara he didn’t know either, but I’m educating him on it and he’s straight up just not grasping what I’m saying. We talked about it some more and he agreed he won’t be giving her it but he could’ve responded better when I first brought it up

Yes definitely could be more accepting with what you had to say about it

I don’t like the fact that he doesn’t care what you say or the reasoning behind it, his opinion is what it is and you can’t change it. About what is safe for a baby. When he has no education or experience with babies. That’s WILD. Is he going to argue with the doctors too??? And just do whatever he wants/feels anyway??? This worries me. Is it possible to set up a doctors appointment for both of you to go to with the baby so you can have a doctors confirm all of this for him so maybe he will get the picture and not endanger your child??? Omg…

@Amanda she has a doctor appointment in March and he’ll be home in time for that so I’m definitely gonna ask her so he can be more informed. It’s always like that with him though, even when I’m worried about sumn he’s always saying she’s fine. He doesn’t research stuff so he’s highly educated when it comes to babies. I didn’t like the way he responded either but we spoke about it again after like 15 and he said he won’t be giving it to her but I’m not sure if I want to leave them alone

I have one of those a effing Mr know it all but don’t know 💩 lol I think he is just being combative right now because he’s wrong and you know something he didn’t I would let the conversation simmer down let him come to you and when he does he’ll admit his wrongs no sensible parent would ever want to put their child in harms way I think he noticed he was wrong a while ago in the conversation he’s just being a smarty pants at this point

@Essence yesssss that’s the one act like he knows it all but don’t know nothing 😂 I can’t wait for him to come home cause he be talking all the shit over the phone but he’s in for a treat 😂 yeah ik he doesn’t want to hurt her, he’s gonna be an amazing dad because he’s an amazing husband but he’s stubborn as hell. He eventually admitted he won’t be giving her the honey thankfully

I’m glad he said that at least. But his original responses have me worried he might just do it anyway but telling you he won’t so that you “calm down”. Maybe create a list of things (I know, extra work that you shouldn’t need to do for the father of his own child, but to be safe) that you can get confirmed by the doctor at the appointment, then you can give him afterwards so he can remember/keep track? Lists like: -Things she can’t eat/drink until after 1yo -Step by step for introducing solids and what types she can have at each age -How to keep things/the house childproof for each stage (turning over, crawling, pulling up, standing, walking) -Safe Sleep practices (no blankets or plushies, on their backs, no pillow) -Car seat safety (how to put in and take out a car seat properly/how to buckle properly) Stuff like that? Idk just trying to think of basic needs here. Might seem excessive but I worry lol. Maybe get him a parenting book? Though idk most men won’t read it…

Can you delay your deployment? Bc damn that’d be the hardest thing to leave your baby! I mean she’ll live but how’s their attachment and communication and him respecting her as a little human who can’t yet talk?

@Amanda no this is perfect. Thank you for the tips. I’ll definitely make him a list if I’m leaving. He might read it because he’s a reader but I’m not sure if he’ll be interested in books like that though but again thank you soooo much for the tips I really appreciate it

@Talia so I’m not necessarily deploying and I’m non-deployable until baby turns one, but my unit is and my window opens in April for re-enlistment. They’re trying to get me to stay so I can go but I’m waiting for him to come home so we discuss it but it seems like we’re leaning towards me going. He left when baby was just 4 days old so in person there’s no relationship and he started being able to see her when she was 3 months old (he was in prison) but he talks to her over the phone but obviously she’s not looking at him most of the time 😂 but he sings to her too because she likes that so Ik he’s gonna be great with her when he gets home. Not sure how she’ll react to him because she’s never around any other males except once when his friend came over and she kept crying when she hears him talk so I’m for sure his voice is gonna scare her at first then she’ll warm up to him

I would take him to her pediatrician and let the doctor tell him everything she couldn't have. If he doesn't listen to the doctor, then he's just putting your baby in danger

@Sharaya lmao that’s a total different situation that happened before I met him 😭 he only did 3 months and he’ll never ever do no shit like that again cause he’s not dumb and it hurt him when he had to leave. He was just caught up w the wrong ppl and wasn’t thinking the army just decided to send him to prison for it. But don’t let because of that u think he’s a bad person or a bad dad cause he for sure is a great husband no question asked so Ik he’ll be good to our baby , he just lacks knowledge on certain stuff (first time parent) and just think our daughter can have everything like this honey situation where he didn’t know it was dangerous before 1. But he’s now informed and agreed he won’t.

@Indi he’d def listen to her dr over me 😭 but I kinda understand because I over worry about everythingggg. But I can’t help it because this is my first baby while he’s the “she’s strong and very much okay” type of person. But I do worry when there’s no cause for worrying though

It's called botulism... Lmao. I didn't zoom into the photo which may have said that. Ba ha ha.. doiiii

@Rachelle yeah I don’t think I screenshot that part of the convo lol

God forbid a baby is soft. wtf kind of thinking is that 😭 please just stay home if you can.

Yeahhhh suggesting that you try things with an infant that are extremely dangerous like putting too much water on her face and feeding her honey is really concerning. Making her soft sounds like a silly concept when the stakes are higher for keeping her safe. Food for thought a good husband does not equate to a good father if he is not willing to educate himself on what’s best for the baby then he really shouldn’t be left with her for 9 months….

@Adrianna cause I work for the army and if they say we’re deploying then it’s not really up to me. It’s just comes with the job and if I have to go then I just have to go

I had no idea babies couldn’t eat honey 😐. So thanks for this post!!

@Chelsea ofc 💕 I learned a lot from this app. That’s how I learned from this app too.

OP, I’m glad you wouldn’t be able to leave for at least a year! That’s reassuring. If you read about attachment, it says that the first 2 years in a baby’s life are so important to establish a secure attachment, which benefits them all throughout the rest of their lives / relationships / self esteem etc. I’d kindly recommend reading about attachment with your husband to try to minimize having a big disruption to the attachment you have been creating with your baby.. in case you do get deployed. 💕💕

@Talia yeah I’m glad too , I’ll miss her but it’s apart of the job yk. Gonna have to leave her a few days at a time when I have to go to the field but I have a year to get my mind ready for this. I’ll look into it. I’m really hoping they have a good relationship with each other when he’s back home on her part that is since she doesn’t know him. But all my family swears she’s gonna be a daddy’s girl but they’re clearly delusional idk