Frustrated and feeling alone

Baby woke up crying and usually when I get him to lull him back to sleep he stops crying. This time he didn’t which made me think he hit his head in his crib. I wake up my husband to feel his head and he tells me no because he’s so tired from working all day. This frustrates me so much I yell at him and call him an asshole. He then wakes up and says I woke him up too aggressively and I have no respect for his long work day and don’t get it. Even though I take care of our son every day while he’s at work and work at home at the same time. Am I in the wrong or do I have every right to feel the way I am feeling? I explained that I just wanted some validation in to my fears of him hitting his head. When I ALWAYS console our son EVERY time he wakes up and he gets to sleep all the sleep he wants. I’m getting tired of his attitude and find his actions selfish at times. Mind you our son was sick the past two days and I spent the night with him in his room while my husband got to sleep in our bed (also sick) and was able to get all the sleep he wants without any baby interruptions. I’m so annoyed and at times feel alone and that I take care of our son alone at times. Ugggg I’m done. Thanks for letting me vent! 😔

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I completely get it! Mothers are so underrated it’s hilarious. When I had my first born my husband helped me for a total of 2 weeks with night changings and feedings, even with him working full time job, afterwards it was all me al the time. After my second born was a few months old my husband literally told me I’m “allowed” to wake him to help….um excuse me?! I’m “allowed” to wake up the father of OUR kids…men don’t understand what us mothers really do when it comes to kids. And though he said that I still wouldn’t wake him up because I knew he needed his sleep for work, but eventually I just didn’t care and started waking him up. My point is, next time your husband won’t get up to help with the kids, remind him of that next time he wants something from you because taking care of a sick kid and yourself isn’t an easy job

I empathize! I also work from home and take care of our son while my husband works a blue collar job. My husband has an issue where he cannot be woken up when he is in the middle of a cycle (he has had it his whole life). So nine times out of ten I CANNOT wake him up, even if I throw him out of the bed. This has cause a lot of frustrated tears in the middle of the night when my son woke up for the 100th time and won’t go back down. My husband and I talk often about the inequity in the division of labor. To make up for the fact that he cannot wake up at night, once a week he takes my son after work and I get out of the house, and then on the weekends he will get up and let me sleep in a couple hours. I am glad you had a safe way to vent, I hope you are able to communicate with your husband and work out a solution that seems fair to both of you

I don't think you should have woke up your husband, or yelled at him. (And it's unlikely your son would hit himself that hard against his crib, either intentionally or intentionally.) However. All of you feelings and concerns are spot on. You *are* alone in taking care of your son a lot of the time, and in a lot of ways. You *are* exhausted from being up with your child every night. And you *do* need help with around the clock caregiving. Your experience is very real and you need to talk about it with your spouse. Have this conversation in the light of day, maybe on a Saturday or Sunday morning. His work doesn't take away from your work, and your work doesn't take away from his. Being at home doesn't mean you don't have needs or don't need rest. Try to stay united against the problem, rather than making it a competition or a back and forth of who does what. It will help him hear your concerns without immediately getting defensive. I hope you are able to work something out and get more support. ❤️

Thank you all for your words, time and support! Really means a lot 🙏🏻♥️

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