What do I do

My stepson (7) is usually besotted with my newborn (8 weeks) but yesterday we were trying to get them to eat quickly before taking them back to their mum's. They were walking about and playing so we said no playing until you eat your food so they did and in that time I gave the little one to their dad so I could go for a wee. When I came back the older stepson was whispering in my 4 year old stepsons ear, he was convincing the little one that Sofia is more loved and gets more cuddles. When the 4 year old tried to tell me what he said the 7 year old screamed no. He's clever because apparently when he went to his mum's he reminded the little one that there's no point coming to his dad's house because Sofia gets all the attention and cuddles so the little one cried and was sad. So their mum text me husband and said this is what they've said and now my husband is planning a coffee and a day out with just those two and their mum. This happens alot, the older brother knows exactly how to play them and get his way, I'm scared it will become a theme if my partner gives in but he just ignored me, because no they're not my kids so you two can parent them the way you like but I feel it's just going to worsen the problem. What would you guys do

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There’s ways of making the boys feel loved with dad without a family day out that excludes you. I’m sorry it might be me but it feels like that behaviour is being rewarded with a family day out and you and your daughter are being pushed to the side.

Dad ought to be tackling this head on within your home. It’s great they coparent well but I don’t know, I just feel like it’s not the right approach. Dad can have one on one time with each of the boys when in his care without the need to do a day out with the ex. I’m sorry but I feel that just gives mixed signals to the boys. They can have mummy and daddy together if they play up and mummy and daddy aren’t together so it might be confusing at their age and cause resentment towards you as a reason that they’re not

Ive said to my partner that we all go as a family now, we're all a family and no one gets excluded, no one gets special days out on their own because that's not fair. Maybe a games night will help? Sofia can't play monopoly for example! The boys will feel loved and included and have a great time, I picked up loadssss of board games really cheap on vinted.
Maybe include the boys with cuddles and explain that babies need more cuddles because they can't walk, talk or do anything for themselves, or explain what they need so it's mummy and daddy's job to cuddle them and keep them close to understand why they cry or whatnot. Even things like showing them how to make a bottle get them to shake shake shake or how to change a nappy, make a game out of it, a silly rhyme or poooeee stinky bum bum, kids love to be silly and they will just start to enjoy being around this new little human and interact with her!

Whyyyyyy is it family day out with the mum I don’t get it. Boys day out together when they come to yours yeah fine. I don’t get why the mum needs to be involved, is the mum and kid plotting to try get them back together 🤷🏽‍♀️

Why is their mum going? 🚩 🚩

thank you, I've just had the conversation with my fiancé that I'm comfortable with any arrangement except those 4 going out together without me and Sofia. I don't even mind all 6 of us going because we're all civil and it's not particularly that awkward with all 6 of us, but it just reinforces that the family of those 4 doesn't exist, it's all 6 of us, them and their mum or the 5 of us together. They can't play up and push the new additions to the family to the side, but they can have the attention they were wanting by having a boys day out ect.

in our community

Nursery lunches?

My daughter is nearly 10 months old and starting nursery next month. I want to send my daughter in with lunches so I know shes eating healthy meals but I'm honestly so lost as to what to put in her little bento lunch box that will keep till lunch time and doesnt need reheating. Ive been doing loads of baby led weaning at home, but I tend to make it fresh or pull stuff from the freezer I've previously made and defrost and reheat.
Could you show me some of the lunches you've been giving your baby? Or have you been been letting the nursery deal with the food?

Car issues

Idk if I’m in the wrong. I have a full time job. My husband takes care of the kids while I worked. Today was the day I was supposed to get us a car. But I couldn’t cause of the down payment. So now he’s texting me saying I’m wasting his day to be alone at Walmart so he can spend his tax return. I really want to say go ahead. Leave. Leave the kids and me alone. While you go out and spend money. While your at go ahead and buy urself your drugs and a bitch to go fuck.

Lucky I’m even thinking about him about the car situation if not I would’ve been buying me and the kids a car small enough for us!

THIS DUMB 🍑 MF

LET ME BREAK IT DOWN 🤣🤣

THIS MAN DRIVES AN ELECTRIC CAR WHERE HE CAN PLUG HIMSELF IN (NORMALLY DOES TO DO DOORDASH ETC)
AND IT HAD A SPOT TO WIRELESSLY CHARGE
SOME HOW WITH 4 HOURS OF WORKING HE DIDN'T EVEN MAKE 20 BUCKS TO WASH CLOTHS ANOTHER RED FLAG

TWO NIGHTS AGO
HE CLAIMS TO GO OUT TO WORK. HANGS UP ON ME MID CONVERSATION 👀👀

4 HOURS PAST I'M GETTING SLEEPY STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM
IT'S LIKE 1:30AM I TEXT HIM NIGHT I'M MAD CONFUSED ALMOST AN HOUR LATER I ANT HEARD FROM HIM SO I CHECK MY TEXT.
THE SHIT SAYS "PHONE OFFLINE" AND SHOWS THE TIME FRAME MY TEXT DIDN'T SEND
SO I START CALLING TO CONFIRM CAUSE I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM. HE'S BEEN IN 2 CAR ACCIDENTS 👀 NEITHER HIS FAULT

SO I GET FRANTIC MY GUY

3:14 ROLLS AROUND I CALL AGAIN SURPRISE HE PICKS UP.
CLAIMS HIS PHONE DIED WHILE HE'S HANGING OUT AND HAVING A VERY "GOOD" CONVERSATION. HE WON'T TELL ME WHERE HE'S AT OR WHO WITH. MIND YOU THIS MAN CHEATED ON ME WHILE I WAS 33 WEEKS PREGNANT.

SO AT THIS POINT I'M PISSED OFF AND I TELL HIM I'M HANGING UP CAUSE I LOOK STUPID BEING WORRIED.

HE TURNS AROUND WHILE NOT BEING AROUND THIS CHICK AND FINALLY TELLS ME ALL THE DETAILS.

BTW YES WE MIGHT BE POLY BUT HE'S POSTED HIMSELF AS SOLO POLY WHILE LIVING WITH ME!! HE THINKS I'M. STUPID WITH ALSO THIS SNEAKY SHIT.

IF I WAS TO DO WHAT HE'S DOING HE'D LOOSE IT.
BUT I'M ABOUT TO GO OUTSIDE!! CAUSE YOU PLAYING IN MY FACE

Resentment and placing blame on partner

Firstly, please don’t judge me - I’m aware all my thoughts aren’t rational and I do already feel badly about them

I’m finding myself becoming easily frustrated, annoyed, and placing a lot of blame on my partner for many things. Now I’d get it if he was rubbish but he’s not - he has the baby straight away when he gets home from work, he lets me get ready and shower before he goes to work, he pitches in with the chores and gives me any time I ask for off. He doesn’t go out loads either.

I do a lot of the mental labour - realising we need more of and purchasing clothes, milk, groceries, deciding dinner, cooking, cleaning, thinking about what baby needs, etc.

However I just find myself annoyed and blaming him for so many things I find difficult. I know this isn’t fair, but it’s almost like I’m angry that he’s finding it easy and I’m not. Angry if I’ve just got the baby to sleep and he doesn’t think and closes doors to loudly. Angry when he doesn’t dress baby warm enough, or when he puts him in a car seat with a coat on. When he forgets a blanket or doesn’t wash his hands and plays with him. When hes snoring and I’ve just got the baby to drift off.

We have had many conversations and he has tried to take loads off me but it never feels like enough for me to stop being annoyed with him.

Am I experiencing some sort of post partum mental health issues? I find myself upset and crying a lot. any advice would help.

What would u do? What should i do

So to try to explain this in the best way possible I have a very small apartment.
I opened my back door which leads directly to the laundry room of the building. Lately, I started bringing my son in the laundry room with me because he bangs on the door and tries to get out.

Today I opened the door to get my stuff out of the dryer. I saw I guess my neighbor putting stuff in the washer. It’s a very tight space so I closed the door and was planning on going back after he leave instead of crowding up the space with the baby. Plus I was in shorts and had no bra on, it was an older man.

I latched my door with the dead lock as I usually do so that I do not get locked out and I just left it that way without thinking about it.

I turned my back walk maybe about 5-7steps. My apartment is barely 15 steps front to back.
Turn around. Realize my baby is GONE he’s only 16 months!

I start yelling for him. I approach the door and I hear my son laughing…
The man had opened my door to lure my son in the laundry room with him without me knowing!!!!!!!

They were playing 🤯

He was there for no more then 20-30 seconds if that. It happened so fast, he doesn’t speak good English he’s polish
My door usually slams loud when closed, so this was done quietly…..

When I discovered that the man was with my son, I was trying to simply take my kid back in the house, but he continued on playing and I was yelling at my son that he shouldn’t be wondering without me.

No, first off I know for a fact, my son did not open the door number one. It’s very heavy and number two. He doesn’t know how to open doors yet.

And I asked the man straight out did my son open the door and he said no I did.

My son could get the door to open maybe an inch, I know that. So he must have done that and the man just decided to open it and bring my son with him.

I’m so outraged. Annoyed, uncomfortable. I live alone just me and my son.

What do I do?

I don’t know if he is maybe a visitor, I see his car sometimes but usually it’s another person who looks like him with a different car. Maybe my neighbors dad is my best bet.

Anyway. What should I do? Should I bring this to management. Should I approach my neighbor and figure out exactly who that was?

Thanks ladies wish me luck

Struggling with IMMATURE dad 😪

Had issues pre- baby, drug use, drinking nearly every weekend, viscous cycle calms down, behaves then back to it. Calms down again wants to change, wants to be be a good dad and loves his daughter so stops going out.. but tonight out of no where, goes to football wins a game and turns his phone off so I can’t even get hold of him. What do you with this sort of behaviour? I feel so stuck and feel like I can’t get out of this relationship as he can be so manipulative. Struggling financially so he’s also spending money we don’t have and need for our baby.
Any help or advice would be appreciated 😢