Feels like I’m drowning please tell me I’m not alone… 😔

8 months pp and I feel like I don’t even recognise myself anymore. I have no support, no friend s bar one who tells me the reason my baby is “needy”/“clingy” is because I’ve made her that way. I have no family and my mum has stopped engaging with me since the beginning of January. She’s always been emotionally unavailable/closed off. I’m heavier than I was pre pregnancy, my skin is awful. I’m constantly breastfeeding or contact napping or weaning/food preparing. I am her mother I know, I am so grateful for her and the blessing that has been given to me but I AM TIRED. Drained. I thought it would get easier but it doesn’t seem to be getting any easier. I’m a single parent and I’m always on survival mode. I do everything on quickly because I don’t know when she will cry next. Shower, eat, dress, toilet. I try to attend baby groups weekly to get out the house and be around people for me and for baby but I feel like an odd part. I can never relate to anyone because conversations are about their partners, their jobs, nursery places, bedtime routines etc. I never feel like I belong in the “normal” mum groups because I can’t relate. I’m so sad at the moment and it feels like it’s me against the world. I don’t work at the moment as I lost my job early in pregnancy , used to run my own business which I loved but had to stop temporarily due to pregnancy and can’t find the time to be creative anymore. I bearly get by financially and her dad pays me £70 a month child support because “he’s self employed”. Not going to sugar coat it, some days I don’t see a way out and it’s so unlike me to think that way. I would never do anything to hurt myself. I love my baby but surely this can’t be it for the rest of my life? I feel so so alone. I’m waiting to start therapy 😔

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I don’t know how you are doing it alone - you’re a blady super hero! You are not alone, I actually came here to write a similar post. Sending hugs x

@Lucca just barely surviving now! I don’t know how I’m doing it alone either but cry most days 😂

I think everyone feels like this so don’t feel like an odd part. Your not alone, all the other mums are trying to hold it together too. It’s an emotional rollercoaster but will get easier x

I’m glad you’re acknowledging what you’re feeling and you’re a strong person to let it out. Also good that you’re getting therapy support soon, because professional help really does make difference. I’m sorry about your mum not being close enough, totally understand your position. Also that child support is barely any support, I’m sorry ! You’re sacrificing a lot and that’s all he can do ? 🙃 It’s hard when you’re alone, I have my husband but then otherwise I’ve done a lot of the thgs on my own in terms of looking after the kids. It’s not meant to be done by one person only but unfortunate that many of us end up getting barely any support. You’re allowed to feel what you’re feeling and this is so sad 😞 you’re facing it all alone. Some babies are extra clingy and it’s ok they need that safe space. You’re doing your best in this part and bfding is a full time job so do not forget to hydrate and feed urself too please. Take a day as it comes, sendng u strength. All ears if needed

You are not alone. Firstly, every woman (unless they have fantastic genes or they have tons of money to pay for a personal trainer, nanny etc.) is overweight after pregnancy. It takes a little bit of time to get back where you started. And honestly who cares? You are a goddess, you gave birth to a fully functioning human being and you are nurturing her. Your body is doing amazingly well. Cherish yourself. Secondly, most women who have a partner still are hammered and feel drained and lost. Because, motherhood is a solo experience and most men struggle to engage sufficiently. So don't feel like an outsider. Your experience is more similar to the others than you think. Lastly, you are not spoiling your child. You are probably just being a responsive parent and you are doing what you are supposed to.In the future you will have a great girl who will not struggle with anxiety ( check babies on Netflix). In some months from now you will look back at this moment and smile. Be strong, we are all in the same boat.

Firstly sending big, huge, cuddly cuddles with a big squeeze. My friend say's its so hard because women used to have a village to help raise babies and yet we have none. I am lucky and do have a partner but he works 15 hour days, 5 days straight some days so we see him for a few hours here and there, never around for dinners, bed times, the sick days etc. It's hard. So you are doing amazing! Honestly how single mum's do it is just beyond my brain capacity! You say your barely surviving but you get up in the morning look after your LO and go to baby groups. You sound like you are nailing it! Might not feel like it because you are so exhausted but you are nailing it I promise. To your friend that said your baby is needy/ clingy..... Well that maybe.... It's a baby, a small beautiful defenceless baby that relies solely on you. They will be needy 😂😂 Now for the not belonging in the normal baby groups I'm 100% with you! Everyone always has help and i always seem crazy. If you are close to me lets hang xx😋

Sending you love!!! You're doing an amazing job and your baby is lucky to have you!!! Xxx

Oh bless you heart I can't imagine how hard it must be to do it alone. You must be doing a great job just remember these days won't last forever. I'm not in your situation but I don't recognise myself either, from looks to health to not sleeping not eating right, lost so much weight I only weigh 7.5stone I hate it so much. I feel my cup is empty to even with a partner. Be kind to yourself, I've surrendered and have come to the realisation it's not about me at the moment but I will get myself back oneday. Keep going your amazing I'm sure, your baby is happy healthy and safe and you will get there. ❤️❤️❤️

@Cris agree with everything you said cris ❤️

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