I’m conflicted….

So I’m a religious/spiritual person. I don’t necessarily tie myself to one religion but I’ve accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and believe in God. I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant and have a 4 year old. my bf claims he believes in God and reads a bible verse and prays everyday, but he doesn’t apply any of that to his everyday life. He was raised different from me. His father was on drugs and gang affiliated and he barely saw him growing up and his mom cared more about abusive men than her own kids and smoked cigarettes (he has chronic eczema because of it). So he didn’t have the best examples growing up. My parents raised me in the word and never cursed or did anything to hinder my upbringing or health growing up. I didn’t say my first curse word until I was like 15 and that was after my parents separated. Im conflicted bc my bf does a lot around our daughter (cursing on the game, he’s homophobic, he uses the n word at least 2-3 times in each sentence he says) and btw I also say it we’re both black but I don’t say it around my child I wasn’t raised like that. So I’ve asked him if he can sensor himself (which I shouldn’t even have to ask) around our child/children and he told me he’s working on the cursing but he’s not gonna stop saying the n word as much as he does and won’t sacrifice that for anybody because he doesn’t know how. I’m already noticing my daughter say lingo that he uses like “aye yo” or she’s get mad and say “I beat your ass”. And he just laughs but I’m struggling on the inside because I don’t want my children raised this way. I’ve tried to get her to stop but she keeps hearing it from him. On top of that he was raised hearing his mom talk shit about random ppl so he does that too and now my daughter will laugh at people on the street who look “funny”. I’m struggling idk what to do. Any advice?

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This post wouldve been better in a Christian group, if you’re looking for Christian advice based on the teachings of Jesus. But since you said you don’t subscribe to a specific religion I will keep the biblical advice unless you want it Have you ever thought about doing premarital counseling with him? As far as his behavior goes in front of your daughter I would sit him down and have a serious conversation about that with him.

@✨Wis 🇭🇹 no pls I need all the advice I can get. I haven’t been to that group so I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to post there

You can definitely post in those group, ppl ask questions like yours often. Or you can message me if you feel comfortable. I’d rather not answer in this group cause it can get confusing with people giving advice but it’s not in line with our faith I will say one thing you can do is to pray for him and pray for him to be a Ephesians 5 man. If you read Ephesians 5:23-28 you’ll see what exactl that entails

@✨Wis 🇭🇹 he was raised to believe that counseling or any type of therapy is for weak men 🙄 so I already know he’s not going for that. And I’ve come to him calm and collected to talk about this multiple times with no success. Does he try to censor his cursing? Yes. But it still slips out

Ok if he’s trying then give him grace. He won’t change overnight. In the meantime pray for him

@✨Wis 🇭🇹 I’ve definitely been praying for him. But he literally told me he’s not willing to change how he speaks even for his own kids. So I’m just conflicted

Ask God what to do and wait on God to answer. When you’re praying for him, what is God telling you? You don’t have to tell me cause that’s personal. But this is what happens when you’re unequally yoke unfortunately. Continue to seek God about it and him

@✨Wis 🇭🇹 he shows me his true colors. I notice when I pray and ask God to show me I always somehow end up upset. And we have other issues in our relationship but this specifically isn’t something that I think he’s willing to change and it’s sad

Well God is definitely showing you something. I would encourage to do some premarital counseling with your pastor. Ultimately you have to ask God is this who you’re supposed to marry. Unfortunately, just because you’re with someone or have children with them, doesn’t mean they’re God’s will for you. I’m sure you want to live fully for God and not live in sin. So continue to seek God and ask God for clear instructions on how to deal with this. But if God is showing you this man isn’t your husband then it will be up to you to be obedient in that regard. I hope everything gets better for you! You can always message me if you want to talk more in detail 🤍🙏🏾

@@✨Wis 🇭🇹hank you I appreciate your advice 🩷

You’re welcome! You should check out this video https://youtu.be/_m-djMHVbP0?si=XTAlxVPlL0QH0HxR I believe it will give you much clarity! There’s also Christian pods on this app with an awesome community and you can always ask questions and hear other women’s testimony that were in a similar situation like yours

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