I have hated the newborn phase

I have wanted to love it so badly, but I've hated almost every second. I felt so alone, especially in the beginning where my partner slept through everything. It's been filled with health and gut issues. She was in pain constantly. I have had to sacrifice everything, remove dairy and soy from my diet so I have to cook everything from scratch - just adding to the exhaustion. I watch my partner just get on with his life, like nothing has changed. I feel so much resentment towards him since having a baby. He is supportive, but if he isn't at work, he is likely travelling around the country with his band - I feel like a single parent most days. I have tried to enjoy and cherish the small things, the milestones, the smiles and coos. I have tried being positive. But they have been over shadowed by be crying whilst holding my screaming baby, who is in pain endless hours of the day. It took doctors too long to figure out what was wrong, often pinning the blame on me as the parent. I love her so much, but I needed to just put this down so if someone else feels like this, you're not alone ❤️

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You’re not alone. It does get hard but it’s all worth it in the end. You’re her safe space and she loves you. Remember that. That helps me when things get to be too much. Would you like to join a mommy’s group chat for a lil extra support

Partner resentment is normal. Mine had the audacity to complain about sleep when I purposely slept in the livingroom with our newborn so that he could get decent sleep! You best believe I tore into him lol But he cooks all the dinners and tries his best to help where he can. I'm sorry your partner isn't around to help you out. He really should try to contribute in some way. ❤️

Can I ask what was wrong gut wise? We're 10 weeks in and have tummy troubles and feel like no one's listening to me. Some days he's so sad he doesn't want to be put down or be awake just cries out in pain straining. It's super hard when it's hard and you get comments like their only this young once you won't get this time again. I feel that already and the gut issues are robbing me of this time because I'm sure he'd be super content if not for the issues.

@Cheryl she has CMPA and reflux. She was having a lot of pain after feeding once I changed her to formula. We are combi feeding now. But we tried carobel which made her constipated, just adding to her pain. Tried lactose free milk and she just screamed to the point I had to take her to A+E. It broke my heart seeing her like this. Doc told us we were over feeding. I refused to believe him. Second doctor shamed me for not breastfeeding and told me to go back to BF. I felt so bad for putting her through changes of formula every two weeks. I finally sat down with my HV and sobbed. We went through everything and finally decided she likely has CMPA. So I have cut out dairy and soy from my diet. She's now on pepti-1 and breast milk. She's like a new baby now. We still need to experiment baby gaviscon (which I'm terrified to do), as we she is still sick a lot from reflux.

Feel like could've written this! We had to do gavsicon 1st and made him constipated. Then comfort milk, infacol, gripe water before they gave us CMPA milk but now he has reflux. We went to a and e the other day as wouldn't stop crying and obviously in pain and she mentioned overfeeding but he gets what the powder box recommends!! Go round and round in circles with babys cry, babys spit up this is what babys do etc.

@Cheryl it's so hard. You just have to trust your gut and LO. It's awful seeing them in pain and experimenting different things at what feels like their expense (even though I know it's not the case). I hated it hearing "try for 2 weeks" because I knew they would be 2 weeks more of pain for her. So I totally get it. I needed a bit of a moan when I wrote this. I was so jealous of other mums loving their newborn phase with almost no issues. It made me feel like I was failing my LO. But we aren't. We are doing our god damn best for them. But as I said, trust yourself and trust your gut. We will get there ❤️🙏

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