I need a little support: reading.
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....... your husband.... needs to chill........ children aren't even developmentally ready to read at that age???? In some countries they aren't even taught to read until age 7......
Your husband is not being a supportive or respectful partner in this instance. His expectations are wildly unrealistic and not at all age appropriate. Pushing kids to do things that are developmentally beyond their current capabilities is potentially very damaging. It sounds like you’re working hard to support your daughter’s learning. It’s good that he’s enthusiastic about her learning but he needs to learn about the homeschooling process and he needs to educate himself on age appropriate milestones. Have you considered meeting with your pediatrician or a homeschool coach to get an outside expert’s opinion? He should just listen to you, but sometimes people need a third party expert to tell them the same dang thing before they’ll hear it.
@Shimaya yep I’ve done all that. She can count to 20. She knows her name and I’m teaching her our address now. Her colors just clicked a few weeks ago but her shapes are still not coming. She’s also noticing the weather and if it’s night or day. Now I’m teaching her the day of the week. She knows a lot of different cars she has a very active imagination (I see her acting things out with her dolls all the time). She’s in gymnastics and I take her to the library all the time for free activities. She loves to paint but we don’t do a lot of crafts. That’s my fault, I’m not to crafty and it’s always the last thing I think about. She cooks with me, helps me clean and when the weather is bad we have sensory activities inside. I genuinely doesn’t realize everything I do. I don’t like to have a jam packed day but just a predictable loose schedule. I’m up with her for 14/15 hours a day and I can’t keep doing things the whole time I’m not a robot.
@Karissa he is definitely the type that needs ideas to come from someone else. It is the most infuriating thing. I’ve told him he needs to slow down because we have kids and they just move at a slower pace but it’s taken almost three years for that to click and he’s sent me a dozen videos about it. He doesn’t come to her appointments I doubt he will come to her next checkup. Like right now we just had a late breakfast and now she’s just sitting in my lap playing with my shirt and resting her head on my chest. To him this is me being lazy, to me it’s giving her my energy and my time and connection especially because she feels a little jealous of our baby being held more than she does.
That sounds really frustrating and I’m sorry that you have to deal with his behavior and your kids are being impacted by it. He’s a parent. He needs to go to her appointments too, at least some of the time. Maybe you could make a special appointment to discuss this? Maybe you could do a virtual appointment so all he has to do is sit in front of a computer and talk to the doctor? If he won’t go to appointments and you won’t/can’t stop him from talking to you and your kids like this then I’m sorry but I guess this dynamic will continue?
@Karissa I’ll have to ask if they do virtual appointments because that would be a good option to have him present. If anything I can probably have them name some resources about what should be expected through our messaging line and maybe that will be evidence enough. He doesn’t talk about it often maybe once a month but it just stays in the back of my mind all the time. He just “floated” the idea of me opening a daycare with his sister and home schooling our kids while running it. He just doesn’t understand the work one kid takes let alone a dozen. I wouldn’t have time for that and parents would likely not like me doing that while watching their kids.
@Karissa we moved to the living room and she’s literally spinning the hand on her toy clock saying it’s 4 it’s 3 is bedtime. And it’s the right times.
This sounds like a super frustrating situation! Good job standing your ground on the daycare suggestion. I think you’re right that he doesn’t understand the amount of work that goes into one kid, let alone multiple kids. I hope you’re able to access a virtual appointment and/or otherwise find resources to help. Wishing you good luck and success on the situation overall!
Why does this responsibility solely fall to you? If he sees this opportunity being missed, tell him to feel free to jump right in there and complement what you are already doing. My husband LOVES that "We" homeschool. For him, that meant doing flashcards with one of our daughters once in all of 2024. Still waiting on his 2025 contributions... He's not critical of my methods, so I haven't pushed the issue, but I am creating a curriculum specifically designed for his participation.
Call his mother and ask when he learned to read. This idea is coming from somewhere, and that may be it. If not, you can at least say "you didn't learn until 4/5/6 and turned out just fine." (Or maybe he has negative memories around reading, she would know!) Also, who says this is all on you?? If he wants to spend his free time drilling your 2 year old on flash cards, that is his choice... He can also teach her to read using whatever method he prefers (within reason). Your daughter is awesome and it's way more important to develop an early love for reading than reading skills at 2, which you are doing amazing at. Those are all prereading behaviors, and she's on track to learn sooner than most kids! Keep up the good work, Mama. Invite your husband to marriage counseling. He's damaging his relationship with you over an odd hang-up (stubbornly refusing any evidence that doesn't support his position), and it's not ok! Devils advocate, though, if you did a phonics program, she may just start reading... 🤪
In what world does a 3 year old needs to be reading? She will have to read and study for over 20 years of her life, let her be a child while she can 🥹
Have you taught her ABC, Numbers,shapes,colors, introduced her to phonics and her name? I’m assuming you have. She’s right where she needs to be. He needs to relax.